All That The Light Touches
by iwantsprezzatura
Summary: "Ladies and gentleman, may I present: the winner of the 69th Annual Hunger Games!" To be honest, I had always assumed it would feel better. More like victory. - OC-POV, but canon characters appear regularly - please read&review
1. Prologue

The sweat ran down my face. The hair in my neck was already wet with it. The knife I held in my right hand was blazing in the bright sunlight. And the girl was still struggling.

"Don't scream," I said mockingly.

By now, the girl was weak; she was thirsty and hungry and tired. Not to mention, that boy from 10 had gotten her pretty bad when she so kindly finished him off for me.

She struggled again and she did scream before my knife swiftly drove through her throat. She gave one last gurgling sound before she fell limp and I tossed her to the ground.

"Ladies and gentleman, may I present: the winner of the 69th Annual Hunger Games! Congratulations, Berenice Smitt!"

To be honest, I had always assumed it would feel better. More like _victory_. But I did not rejoice the way I had always imagined. All I knew was that I had one last thing to do.

I raised the bloody knife. I watched it curiously for a moment, seeing how the red liquid ran down the blade. Then, I brought it to my lips as I had every single time and pressed a swift kiss on the blade. The highest praise I could ever pay to my weapon of choice that had served me so loyally.

I raised my head to see the hovercraft approaching and let the knife drop to the ground. I did not need it anymore. The Games were over.


	2. Red Handed

**So, first of all, thank you for reading on after the prologue. This the first story I'm writing for the Hunger Games and I am hoping you'll enjoy it.  
>I apologize for any linguistic mistakes, I'm not a native English speaker so I'd kindly ask you to bear with me ;)<strong>

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games, nor any of the characters, places or storylines you might recognize. **

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><p><strong>Red Handed<strong>

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><p>I practically fell into Enobaria's arms. They had kept me so long because they wanted to erase every trace of half-healed injuries and exhaustion on my body. In my opinion, they had taken much too long.<p>

"I knew you could do it," she whispered into my ear.

I drew back and sent her a smile. "But I knew that, too."

She rolled her eyes at me and I turned to Felix, who leant against the wall. He had probably wanted Justin to win; he had to have wanted that, as his mentor.

"You did well," he said, though. "Congratulations."

Before I could say anything to answer him, maybe thank him for still being here, even though his actual tribute was dead, Marcia Fenderal, our - my - escort fluttered into the room and scooped me in her arms.

"I'm so proud of you, and you can't imagine, the people _love_ you, darling!"

"I'm glad," I said. "There's got to be some pay-off."

It was not like I did not see Enobaria pulling a face, but I chose to ignore it for the moment.

"Darling, I saw the dress Tigris created and it is magnificent, you're going be the prettiest victor ever!" For a short moment, her face fell as she half-turned to my mentor. "No offence."

Enobaria shrugged it off. As a rule, she had very little tolerance for our escort and I could not exactly take it bad on her. Marcia had a talent for walking all over your nerves. Before she could go on babbling, Enobaria pulled me to the side.

"Listen," she said. "Everyone will ask about what you did to Justin."

"I didn't do anything to Justin," I said defensively. "He was wounded and slow and the tributes from One were on our heel-"

"You left him for his certain death," she said.

"He wouldn't have survived, anyway," I said quietly as if that would make it any better. Chance of survival or not, I still had left him behind.

Enobaria's features softened considerably. "Don't get me wrong, I don't hold it against you, you do what you have to do - but they're going to ask about that."

I frowned at her, trying to get behind what she was telling me. "So, should I... tell them I'm sorry about it or-"

"God's, no!" she said, shaking her head at me. "People at the Capitol love entertainment - you've provided entertainment of the best sort. Just don't let them get to you."

Now, that did not help very much.

"I've heard you," I said slowly. "Thanks for the advice."

She smiled, which was a rather comforting sight on the one hand, seeing as she didn't smile very often. On the other, she had altered her teeth so that they were sharp and pointed; therefore, a smile was always a little frightening, too. I appreciated the gesture, though.

"I'm proud of you," she said. "Couldn't have done it better, myself."

That, of course, was a huge compliment. I could not help the huge grin erupting on my face. "Thank you. That means a lot."

She looked over to where Marcia was already nervously fidgeting with her calendar as she waited for me.

"Let's not make them wait any longer," my mentor advised.

She rested a hand on my shoulder to lead me over but I flinched away immediately. The reaction surprised both of us and Enobaria looked at me quizzically.

"Sorry," I muttered. "Still a little twitchy."

It was only, I thought, that in the past two weeks no one had touched me without the clear intention of harming me. I just needed a day or two to readjust.

"Sure," she said and for the first time ever I heard something in her voice that sounded like pity.

"I'm fine," I snapped at her. "Don't give me that voice."

She seemed taken aback but did not comment.

Marcia was, rather unsurprisingly, much more chipper. She never ceased her blabbering as she guided me through the hallways of the Training Centre. It was strange being back here after everything. It had been so full of life when I last stayed here. Now, it was eerily silent.  
>I wondered what the mentors did after their tributes died. Did they immediately return to their districts? Did they lock themselves in the apartments and drowned their sorrows? I wanted to ask, but the words were still tumbling from Marcia's mouth and I did not have the heart to interrupt her. She was happy for me, and probably happy for herself, too. After all, she did not have a victor to fuss over in seven years.<p>

My prep team was even more excited, it appeared. They talked non-stop about the scenes they liked best, argued about the most interesting kill and Octavian worked himself up so badly about the final fight - "Oh, I could barely take it, I almost thought she'd get you-" - that he started shivering uncontrollably and had to leave the room to calm himself.

I was almost relieved when Tigris swept into the room and ushered the team outside. And that said something, since Tigris was by far the most bizarre of the Capitolites I had met.

The styles of capitol where always a little extravagant, but most, I could dig. Marcia' silver tattoos, for example or even Caesar Flickerman's ever-changing hair colour. But Tigris had taken it a step further. She had had so many surgeries that she almost looked like a cat, with long whiskers to match.

She walked around me and nodded her approval. "I see you're as good as new."

"As good as?" I said weakly. "I think they took away some scars that were there before."

In fact, my arm looked suspiciously smooth, even though it had been covered in tiny white scars before - as a child, I did not have the patience to wait for the chickenpox to disappear by themselves and had instead scratched them off my arm one by one.

"They tend to do that," Tigris mused. "We want our victors as beautiful as possible."

On that note, she pulled out the dress she had picked out for me. It was a rose coloured one, layered with quillings and lace. Put on, it changed me. I did not look like a victor, not like a girl that had killed several people, not like someone who had been sprinkled in blood. I looked young, fragile, almost innocent. I wondered why she did that.

"It's great, I- thank you."

"Why, that's my job, dear," she purred.

Marcia picked me up again and by that time, she seemed to have said anything she had wanted to say, for we walked together in silence. The drive to the studio was short and passed in equal peace. Only when she saw me off at the stage door did she finally speak up.

"You look very pretty," she said and I suddenly noticed the tears pooling in her eyes.

"Why are you crying?" I asked, alarmed.

I had not seen Marcia cry before, not even when she got so upset about Felix telling her she was a pedantic bore.

"I'm just so happy," she squeaked and then pulled me into flimsy hug.

She left me completely aghast, and I needed a few moments to collect myself before I allowed the two peacekeepers at the door to usher me inside.

"You know exactly what they'll do to her!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. Felix and Enobaria were so deep in conversation that they had missed my arrival and did not even lower their voices.

"Tigris assured me she'd do her very best-"

"It won't be enough," he snapped.

"It'll be all right-"

"Nothing will be all right!"

"What's going on?"

Both of them turned to me with horrified faces before Felix huffed, annoyed and strode past me without another word.

"What's up with him?" I asked.

"Nothing," Enobaria muttered. "Everything's fine."

I raised an eyebrow at her but decided against demanding an answer. Felix could be short-tempered and impulsive and therefore, such an outburst was not very surprising.

"So?" I said as a stage-hand waved us over for the start of the interview. "Any last tips?"

"No," she said. "You can handle yourself."

I gave her a short smile and then I was called to the stage. The tumult was incredible. People were screaming, and most importantly, they were screaming my name. Marcia had not lied. They loved me.

I was suddenly not at all sure how to handle myself. Fortunately, there was still Caesar.

Caesar Flickerman had been the host of the Hunger Games for as long as I could remember. Every year, he wore different coloured hair and lips, but he always wore the same blue was also always helpful. Not once had he led an unsuccessful interview, for he had the talent to lead his guests through the show.

"Berenice!" he exclaimed and reached out to take my hands as if we had been the longest friends.

So I smiled back as if that was true. "Caesar," I said as he grabbed my hands and led me over to the throne they always had for the victor. "So nice to see you again."

"Oh, it's nice to see you again!" he said. "To be honest - you always were my favourite."

I actually giggled a bit. "You're just saying that."

"Oh, I mean it," he said, pressing a hand to his chest. "Lovely girl like you, I couldn't help myself!"

"You're such a charmer," I said and the audience laughed.

Caesar laughed with them, but then he suddenly sobered. "So," he said. "Berenice - are you ready to watch the highlights of your triumph?"

Was I ready? I did not know. I was not sure. So I smiled and nodded. "Can't wait for it."

They did not make me wait. They started playing the video recap, two weeks made into three hours of highly entertaining film material. At least for the Capitolites. I winced the first time when Justin volunteered. It was hard to look at him, to see him alive. Then, Justin was on his interview, talking about the advantages of an alliance. Saying that he knew that his allies would have his back. And then, I saw me, creeping around our camp in the middle of the night and slitting the throats of the very allies that trusted me.

Suddenly I knew why they put me into an innocent dress. They could not show me like that - brutal, vicious, unscrupulous. They could not show any victor like that, because if the Capitolites realized that we truly were capable of what we did in the arena, then they would have to fear us.

I did not know how I made it through the whole thing without breaking into tears of self-loathing. It had not ended with the two tributes from Four. I had sent my knife into the back of the girl from Eight when she bent over to fill up her water bottle. I had jammed the same blade into the neck of the boy from Five after sneaking up on him. I had only killed the girl from One after she had already been weakened and injured due to her fight with that guy from Ten.

Not once had I made an honest, face-to-face kill; not once could I say that I had just been the better fighter. I had been cunning, sneaking around, but I had been a coward. I had murdered innocent people; not killed them while fighting for my life - I had planned it out and had attacked them when they were not looking.

The film ended with the final scene and my lips on my bloodied knife. At once, Caesar turned to me with the first of many questions.

"Tell me," he said. "Why did you always do that?"

"With every life it took, my knife brought me closer to victory," I said, as quiet as possibly as not to give away the unsteadiness of my voice. "And somehow, I had to thank... it."

"Oooh," he made. "A love affair with the knife!"

The audience roared and I sent them a smile and shrugged.

"So, so," he said, gaining silence at once. "Tell us - about Justin."

For a moment, everything inside me froze. Justin. He was asking about Justin, Justin who I- _you provided entertainment of the best sort._ A look around showed me that Enobaria had in fact been right. The people that I could make out in the audience had leant forward curiously in their seats, looks of pure excitement written on their faces.

"Well," I said. "That was pretty dramatic, wasn't it?"

Caesar nodded encouragingly, so I hurried to continue.

"Justin was... a good ally to have my back even when we were hunted, but in the end - there can only ever be one victor, right?"

"Right," Caesar whispered.

"And I really wanted to see you again," I said.

I gained another round of laughter and with that, the topic was done. Caesar played flattered for a while, before he asked his next question.

"So, Berenice - now that you're out of the arena - what are you looking forward to?"

"Besides sleeping?"

That only got me a tired chuckle, the joke had been made too often.

"Honestly, I hope to see a little more of the Capitol," I said. "After all, it has to be an amazing city - if it's only half as lovely as its citizens."

The flattering was a little thick if you asked me, but the audience loved it. They applauded wildly and Caesar jumped up with a huge smile plastered on his face.

"Ladies and gentleman, Panem's Sweetheart - Berenice Smitt!"

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><p><strong>I love reviews. Just saying.<strong>


	3. The House That Built Me

**Thanks to everyone who read, alerted and most of all to Layla Knowe for reviewing!**

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><p><strong>The House That Built Me<strong>

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><p>I tightened the fur cloak around me. Tigris had given it to me, so I would return home with the appropriate attire for a victor. I had thought to be used to the cold, seen as at the great lake, we had either suffocating heat or freezing cold. But I had lost a lot of weight in the arena and so I shivered even under the protection of my cloak.<p>

I was standing on the platform, waiting to step onto the train that would bring me back home. But Enobaria and Felix had disappeared along the train to say goodbye to a few of their fellow mentors. Next year, I realized, I would be in Enobaria's place. I shuddered at the thought. Enobaria had mentored for seven years now - I was the first tribute she could bring home. I did not know how she did it; it had to be hard to see your tributes die.

"So, Berenice," Marcia's hands fluttered around me, adjusting my hair and the flow of the cloak. "You know what we talked about - countenance, smiling!"

"Yes," I said. "I know all of that."

She held me at an arm length to get another look at me. "You're perfect," she said. "I couldn't have a better victor."

I was not too sure how to respond to that - she surely did not want to hear that without me, she would not have a victor at all - so I responded with the one thing I knew all Capitolites loved. Flattery.

"I couldn't have a better escort," I said. "You've been a great help."

At least whenever I had had to be on time. Marcia broke out into a huge smile and she suddenly hugged me tightly. I had to actively keep myself from flinching away at the sudden intimacy.

"I'll see you soon," she squeaked and then she hurried away, leaving me alone on the platform.

I took a deep breath and tried to shake the sudden feeling of menace off. I got it whenever someone unexpectedly touched me, even though it seemed ridiculous.

"You should have gotten in without us," Enobaria scolded as she arrived by my side. "We don't want you to be sick now..."

"I'm all right," I assured her. "Don't worry."

We climbed onto the train and settled down in the nearest compartment. The train ride between the Capitol and District Two was not very long; in fact, we would reach our destination in little over an hour.

Felix joined us just as the train started to pull out of the station. He fell into a seat next to Enobaria without a word. I turned away to look at the tall, bright buildings of the Capitol passing by.

"Ready for home?" Enobaria asked. "They sent a TV team ahead of us-"

"Of course they did," I said without taking my eyes off the scenery outside.

"What are you staring at?" Felix grumbled. "Didn't get to see the city, after all?"

"Don't be ridiculous," I said, finally focusing on him as we entered the tunnel that led out of the Capitol. "I never planned to make a city trip."

"I see," he said. "So lying wasn't just a tactic in the arena."

He jumped up and left the compartment fuming. I stared after him open-mouthed before I turned to Enobaria. "What is his problem?"

"Felix can be difficult-"

"This is about Justin, right? Well, that's absurd, taking it out on me!"

"I'm sure this isn't about Justin," Enobaria said reasonably. "Just give him a space. The Games are hard for all of us-"

"Guess what," I said. "It's been pretty hard for me, too. I really don't want to deal with his poor mood on top of that!"

She did not seem to have an answer for that; at least, she did not answer me. We left the tunnel and the trains now passed through the wilderness of District Two's mountains. It was an oddly comforting sight. Most trainees often went hiking to keep in shape, even though the peacekeepers would have rather kept us in their immediate sight. Besides, I enjoyed the occasional quiet. My two cousins were still small and therefore loud and I barely had a minute to myself when I was at home. So I had quickly taken to spend a lot of time either at the academy or out in the open.

The train's descent into the valley had me glued to the window again. The glittering surface of the great lake came into view as well as the roofs of the town spread out at its bank. The train slowed considerably as we rolled into town and approached the station.

It stopped with a jolt and I was at my feet at once. Enobaria grinned at my enthusiasm but I had no mind to feel embarrassed about it. I would finally be home and in a matter of minutes would hug my family.

The only thing I noted when I stepped off the train was a high-pitched squeal before the tiny body of my five-year-old cousin slammed into me. Shortly out of guard, I stumbled a step backwards and needed Felix to steady me. Then, tough, I swept the girl up into my arms, only to have her clutch my neck so tightly that breathing became difficult.

Still, I managed to dislodge her a little bit and get a proper look at her. Ligeia was still just as tiny, her chocolate brown eyes were still just as a big and she was smiling as though she was still just as happy as when I had left.

"Hey, midget," I said.

"Hey, giant," she said back and I grinned down at her.

"You look real good."

"You came back," she answered and suddenly her smile dropped a little bit. "Mum said she didn't know if you would."

"I promised you I would," I told her. "Don't you trust me?"

I set her to her feet again as I became aware of the cameras that had caught our reunion. I smiled and nodded along with the congratulations as I pulled Ligeia over to the rest of my family. My aunt was the first to hug me.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Silly girl," she said gently. "We're all fine! How are you?"

"Fine," I said, too. "Just fine."

"Nissa!" another small voice exclaimed and before I could answer, Basil had thrown his arms around me.

"Hey there," I said, hugging the boy to me. He did not budge, even when I tried to free myself from his arms to greet Uncle Tycho.

Instead, mine and his eyes met; the same dark brown, almost black eyes, the eyes that my mother certainly had shared, too. Uncle Tycho and I had always understood each other without words. We could read the mind of the other from their eyes and this time proved to be no different. I did see the relief and the happiness swimming in his eyes, but there was also something else, a little harder to pinpoint. It looked like regret, but I shrugged it off, unwilling to dwell on this right here and now.

I finally managed to peel Basil off of me and then we somehow made our way out of the station. I still smiled and waved, while Uncle Tycho brushed past the reporters, causing one of them to lose his microphone. The man had to scramble throuh the crowd to get it back.

A short while later, I was standing in my room, packing up the few things left. Victors and their families were required to move into the Victor's Village and so, my aunt had already been busy packing up ever since I had won. It was strange, I thought, to be leaving this place and I wondered why they made you do it. In a way, once you left for the Hunger Games, you never returned home, victor or not.

There was a light knock on the door case and I turned to find Uncle Tycho watching me curiously.

"I'm almost done," I said. "I'll be downstairs to pack up the kitchen in a few-"

"Slow down," he said, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. "I wanted to talk to you."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I caught that same look he gave me earlier at the station. "What's that look for?"

"You left that boy to die."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Justin? He was going to die, anyway."

"But you left him. He was your ally, your district partner and you left him."

"He was hurt," I said, squaring my shoulders. "He had that huge gash on the shoulder and a smaller wound on the leg. He was slowing me down. Had I stayed with him, the others would have caught us and I probably wouldn't be standing here, justifying my actions in the arena. You have never been in there, you have no idea what it's like."

"You're right," he admitted slowly. "I was never in there. But your mother was. And Eunice would have never-"

"My mother was no saint," I said harshly. "She killed, too."

"But she never killed her allies in their sleep!" he exclaimed.

"So, what are you saying?" I challenged. "Would you rather I had not come home?"

He looked positively horrified at that suggestion. "Of course not. I just worry about you. This is not how we raised you. This is not what Eunice would have wanted you to be."

"I'll never know what she wanted!" I said furiously. "She chose to end her life and she left us guessing what she could possibly want."

"Berenice-"

"Look," I interrupted him. "She left you all that money to send me to the academy and she left _me_ her knife. Do you think that's coincidence? Cause I don't. I think she wanted me to win and I won, that's all that matters."

He nodded slowly and he became suddenly very collected. "I see," he said. "Forget I ever said anything."

I did not like that at all, for it seemed like one of those 'the wiser head gives in'-moments and I did not at all feel like he was the wiser head. Still, I did not want to make this even more of a fight. For that, I was far too happy to be back.

"All right," I said.

He made to leave the room, but turned back once more with his hand on the doorknob. "But never," he said. "Never think I didn't want you to come back."

I swallowed hard at the smothering sincerity in his voice and all I could do was nod sharply before he left and pulled the door closed behind him.  
>I took a deep breath to steady myself. I could not count all the times that we had lead that discussion about my mother. We had heatedly argued about it, over and over again.<br>It did not do to dwell on these things, I decided. Today, I should be celebrating with my family. They needed me with them and not up here pouting.

I grabbed my bag and made for the door. With my hand on the doorknob, I paused again and looked back at the room I grew up in. I had outgrown my childhood once and for all, I realized, the moment that I had volunteered. There was nothing holding me back.

I dropped my bag in the hallway, next to various other bags and boxes and then joined my family in the kitchen. Aunt Olivia was packing up the dishes while Basil carefully sorted napkins into a box by colour. I wondered shortly about Ligeia, before she suddenly rammed into me on her run through the kitchen.

"Midget," I scolded, causing her to stick out her tongue at me.

I would never know how, but Aunt Olivia had somehow seen that, even though her back was turned. "Be nice, Ligeia," she said. "Nissa just got back."

"I'm fine," I said. I really did not need them to tiptoe around me.

"I'm sure you are, dear. We'll be done here shortly and then the Mayor assured me someone would drive us over and you can-"

"I'm fine," I repeated. "I've been fed and pampered ever since I got out of the arena, I really am fine."

My aunt's head snapped sharply to me and then her eyes flickered to Ligeia, as if she did not want me talking about any of that. I wondered how she imagined that would happen.

"Speaking of arena," I said. "I still have the necklace."

I pulled it from underneath my tunic. It was a polished granite stone hanging on silver necklace; apparently, Aunt Olivia's father had polished it himself. She had insisted that I take it as a token into the arena and I had been panicked to lose or break it. But here it was, back home in one piece, just like me.

"Oh, no," my aunt said. "You keep it."

"It's yours," I said. "It was a token, now I'm giving it back."

"It was meant to protect you and to remind you of home. I imagine you can still use that in the future."

I sighed heavily. Though with a bad conscience, I finally relented. "Thank you."

She reached out and took my face in her hands. "No, I thank you," she said. "For coming back home."

Then she kissed me on the forehead and both Basil and Ligeia hissed, "Mum!"

We both laughed and the spell was broken.

"Oh, you two!" she said. "Go on, then! Your uncle still needs help in the backyard. And you, Basil, come back here - what is this mess? Do those things look tidy to you?"

While she continued to scold Basil for untidy napkins, I grabbed Ligeia around her middle and together, we fled the kitchen.

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><p><strong>Please consider reviewing. Just type something into that box below... I'd be happy ;)<strong>


	4. Brave New World

**Thanks to everyone who read and to Naishu for reviewing. Please enjoy the new chapter.**

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><p><strong>Brave New World<strong>

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><p>Marcia winced at the horrible tones from the violin. I sighed heavily and let it sink down, shaking my head at her.<p>

"I told you it sounds horrible," I said.

"In that case it's not a talent!" she snapped irritably.

"It takes time," I told her. "You can't learn to play the violin in such a short time!"

She huffed and turned to the TV team that looked equally pained. I pulled a face and gingerly put the instrument back into its case. There really was no need to make me feel even worse about how poor I was at music.  
>Marcia was urgently whispering to the head of my TV crew, who in turn was looking almost worried about this development. It was a strange look on her, since Capitol citizens rarely looked troubled.<p>

"Good news," Marcia finally exclaimed and with that, her bright smile returned. "It will be really easy to cut everything so no one actually hears you playing."

"Great," I said.

"Everyone will be so enamoured by your talent," she added. "Playing an instrument really is quite something-"

"But it sounds horrible."

I looked down to see that Ligeia had sneaked in, grinning widely at me. I rolled my eyes as Marcia giggled at the small girl. Seconds after, my prep team barged into the room, all three of them frantic.  
>I had told them to keep Ligeia occupied even though I had forbidden everyone from filming her. It had been quite the fight. Everyone seemed to love Ligeia and she had been dragged in front of a camera when they had interviewed the Final Eight's families. But I did not want her in the focus. Being in the could be very dangerous and I would rather not see Ligeia in the claws of the Capitol.<p>

I raised an eyebrow at them and they all halted.

"Sorry," Dalia breathed. She looked down in shame and her long, glittering blue eyelashes had shadows falling on her cheeks. "She just disappeared."

"She does that," I said gently. I crouched down in front of Ligeia and gave her a stern look. "What are you doing here?"

"She pulled my hair," the girl said at once, pointing straight at Serena who opened her mouth in indignation.

"I was braiding it!"

"Honey," I said to Ligeia. "We're not quite done yet."

"I don't want to stay with them," she said.

"Why don't you go find Basil? You can take them along and if they pull your hair again, Basil will defend your honour."

She grinned then and it was such a devious smile that I wondered what exactly she had planned. Whatever it was, she would take it out on either her brother or my prep team and so, I could not be bothered with finding out exactly what it was.

She skipped outside and the three of them practically ran after her. I shook my head slightly. She gave them so much trouble and yet, they still loved her.

"She's so cute," Marcia said, too. "Are you sure we can't-"

"No videos," I bit back. "If I do see her on the screen, I'll forget my lines every single time."

The threat made my escort blanch and she hurriedly nodded. I had found that it worked quite well with her. Not that I ever really intended to present myself in anything but a favourable light. I did not want to embarrass myself, but Marcia did not need to know that.

We boarded the train the next morning. Ligeia sobbed heartbreakingly, even though we all assured her that I would not be gone as long and that I would absolutely, without doubt, come back this time. I kept waving to my family until the train had pulled out of the station and I stared back until it had fully left the town.

Marcia filled all of our dinner with information on the districts we were visiting, dresses Tigris had designed for the occasion, speeches, manners, people I should be friendly to - and she never stopped, not even when the plates were long empty. I only got her to cease her explanations when I announced that I would be going to bed.

I fled to my compartment before she could protest against it. But sleep would not find me that night. The familiarity of the train, the memory of the last one that had brought me to the Games, had me tossing and turning and most importantly, it had me wide awake.  
>It was already two o'clock in the morning when I decided that it was pointless. I got up and slipped out of compartment and towards the lounge room. Maybe a glass of that amazing lemon-spiced water would calm my nerves a bit. I tip-toed inside and froze on the spot.<p>

Felix was sitting on the couch. He was staring at the darkness outside, his hand clenched on one of the pillows so hard that his knuckles turned white. I considered turning around and sneaking back, but then his head suddenly snapped to me.

"What do you want?"

I took a deep breath at the sudden anger flaring up inside me. I had barely talked to Felix since we returned, he had avoided me and I had avoided him.

"Couldn't sleep," I said.

I expected him to lash out, snap at me for bothering him, but he did nothing of the sort.

"Me either," he said. "Drink?"

He gestured to a bottle on the table, which apparently contained some sort of alcohol that I could not place. I shook my head and instead sat down in a chair opposite the couch.

He shrugged and reached over to take a sip from his glass. "Helps with the nightmares," he explained.

"You still have those?" I inquired.

The first few weeks after the Games, I had been plagued by nightmares, too. But very slowly, they had subsided. Sometimes, when the memories came to the surface again, I would have trouble sleeping, much like today. But I would have never thought that Felix was still having nightmares, so many years later.

"I heard you're a tough one," he said lowly. "Above such ordinary things like nightmares, are you?"

"No," I retorted. "And I'm not tough. I just don't have vivid dreams."

We sat in silence for a while, with him staring outside and me trying not to stare at him.

Felix had won nine years ago, when he had been sixteen. Young, for a volunteer, but he had been better than the eighteen-year-olds of that year. I had watched his games over and over again. They had been surprisingly quick, only the final fight between Felix and the boy from One had dragged on for hours. I had admired his technique and his courage. He had not won because of good looks or nice words - anyone who met him knew that Felix was very rarely nice. He had won just because he had been the best fighter.

My admiration had very quickly died down when I had met him. He was always gruff, detached and sometimes outright mean. Tonight, though, he seemed a little more pliant, so I forced myself to speak up.

"Are you still angry at me?"

"I was never angry at you," he responded tiredly.

"But you...," I started before interrupting myself. "Look, I know what I did to Justin was wrong."

It felt good, admitting it like that, because I had not been able to with anyone else. But I _did_ feel guilty - maybe, if I had not left him, we would have gotten a sponsor gift, maybe he would have lived on. Of course, that would have meant my death in turn, but that was what a good person would have done. I was not a good person and it hurt to know it.

"You did what you had to do to save yourself," Felix said.

"But-"

"Don't be ridiculous," he snarled. "I'm not angry about Justin, I'm not angry at you at all."

I swallowed my retort down and nodded stiffly as he sighed.

"I just try to not get attached to my tributes," he said slowly. "Brings nothing but pain. You better listen to this, my darling victor, cause you'll experience it, too: don't ever get attached."

The talk with Felix did not help with my sleeping problem at all. By the time we arrived in District Twelve the next morning, I was positively exhausted. For Marcia's sake, I pulled myself together, though.

The drive from the station to the Justice Building was short, but long enough to see the beggars on the street and the awfully thin children running around. It was a painful sight. There were poor people in Two. People who struggled, who had to take on several jobs, people who could not pay for their children's education. But not once had I seen someone starving.

"Don't stare," Marcia hissed at me. "It's rude."

I nodded obediently and averted my eyes. Marcia handed me the cards with the speech I was supposed to give. It said something about what excellent tributes the two had been and how the families should be honoured because their children died for Panem. It was ridiculous. None of this would comfort a grieving family, but I did not dare to disobey. Not that I would have had had anything else to say. I had never talked to the pair from Twelve, I had not even fought them. They had both died in the bloodbath and not at my hand. The whole concept of me saying anything about them was absurd.

So, I just stuck to the cards she had given me and dutifully read out the nonsense she had produced, while in the crowd, the family and friends of 'Lily' and 'Kolton' were crying. My eyes darted over the crowd, the makeshift clothes, the dirty and malnourished children and I read.

"Panem today, Panem tomorrow, Panem forever."

District Twelve's sole victor was a drunkard named Haymitch Abernathy. Every word he said to me was slurred and so I thought it was no wonder that none of his tributes had ever won.

Enobaria laid a hand on my shoulder when no one was looking. "You're doing real good," she whispered to me.

District Eleven was warm, especially considering the time of year. District Ten was plain and District Nine was even plainer. District Eight stood out because of a particularly beautiful dress Tigris had thought up.

In each and every district, I had to give that dull speech. It was too easy to put the thought of the tributes' deaths away. It was far too easy to pretend like I had not killed the girl from Eight or the boy from Five.

District Four made it incredibly hard.

My plan in the arena had been as genius as it had been cruel: Wait till it's down to the Final Ten and then kill off all the other Careers - except Justin, I added in my mind. I could not have killed Justin. Maybe if we had been in the Final Two, but never like that. I had known that I would not be able to take on the other Careers in a fair fight. Or, maybe I could have taken Ruby and Coral. But I would have stood no chance against the boys. So, my plan had been to just kill them off, quickly and quietly, in their sleep. I had taken out Coral's district partner, Tide, but when I got to her, she screamed. And she had woken everyone up.

All of District Four tasted like the sea. I never knew how I realized that it was the sea, but I knew it the second I stepped off the train. The air smelled like it, every single thing they offered me to eat tasted like it. The water was everywhere.  
>The horrible thing was that I could just imagine the two of them here. I stood on the stage and had to read the cards and all I could think about was that they had been standing right here not half a year ago. That they had smelled and tasted the sea and that they had been so <em>alive<em>.

I did not know how I got through the card. I did not hear a single word I said.  
>Finnick Odair grinned at me and waggled his eyebrows, but I barely reacted, even though every girl in the whole of Panem pined after him and I knew several girls back home that would die for such a smile.<p>

It was Felix who finally snapped me out of my stupor.

"Do get over yourself," he grumbled when we boarded the train. "I can't be bothered to look out for you, too."

"Who else do you need to look out for?" I asked lowly, annoyed at the way he had walked all over me once more.

"Myself, who else?" he retorted before disappearing into his compartment.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me happy ;)<strong>


	5. Poor Unfortunate Souls

**Thanks again to Naishu for reviewing the last chapter.**

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><p><strong>Poor Unfortunate Souls<strong>

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><p>I could not quite pinpoint what the appeal was, but I sort of liked the Capitol. Everything seemed to be grand, luxurious, and bright. The citizens themselves, well, they were a bit naive and vain, but most of them were very friendly. They got excited when they saw me, they assured me off their sympathy - "That arena, dear God, how you must have suffered-", though of course, they talked more about the heat and then off the threat of death - they complimented me.<p>

As the Victory Tour came to its close here, they wanted yet another interview with Caesar Flickerman, in which he fortunately did not ask me much about the violin. I had seen the trailer they had made about my talent and it must have occurred to everyone that the music and my untalented attempts on screen did not match.

Instead, Caesar questioned me about the Districts. "And which one have you liked best?"

"Oh, it's so hard to tell."

"Do try. For me?"

I laughed along with the audience. "Well, if I had to make a choice, I'd say - maybe One. Have you ever been? It seems to be sparkling everywhere! My cousin would have like it."

"Your cousin - the little girl, right? We haven't seen her at all! It's such a shame; all of Panem is in love with her!" he said brightly.

I tried to cover my horror with a matching smile. "I know, she's lovely. But she's also very shy. Wouldn't come out if there were cameras nearby."

It was such a blatant lie and I just hoped that no member of my team would go and blow my cover.

"It really is a pity," Caesar repeated. "On the topic of your family - we have just recently rerun your mother's games! The quotas were amazing."

For an odd little moment I felt like I wanted to slap the grin right off his face. My mother had suffered in these games; I had watched her victory more times than I could count. She had suffered long after they were done. Uncle Tycho always said that she was never the same after she came home. And here they were, watching my mother's demise for the sake of good quotas.

"Really?" I breathed.

"Oh, yes. We all loved Eunice very much," he assured me. "She died when you were very young, right?"

"I was still a baby," I informed him, still hushed as to not give away my anger. "Barely half a year."

Caesar suddenly wore a face of genuine pity. "That is so tragic. My condolences."

"It's been years," I said. "My uncle has looked after me very well."

Caesar smiled reassuringly, while in the audience, some Capitolites had grabbed their handkerchiefs and were crying gently.

"Do you think she'd be proud of you?"

I should have been expecting the question, but it came out of the blue. Would she be proud of me? I never knew her, I would never ever know if she would be proud of what I was doing. But here and now, there was only one possible answer.

"I think she would be," I said. "My mother, herself, was very proud of winning and bringing that honour to our district and I'm proud of her, too. So I think she'd be happy that I won."

One hysterical woman in the front row was outright sobbing now and Caesar directed his attention to her for a moment before he returned to me with a much happier attitude.

"So, Berenice, in the upcoming games you'll be a mentor now. Excited?" he asked.

"Very much," I said. "You know how I enjoy visiting the Capitol."

"And don't we all love you visiting us?" he called to the great applause of the audience. "But, but - what advice will you give your tribute?"

I sent him a lazy smile. "There's one well learned lesson."

"Which?" he inquired.

"Don't let them scream."

My prep team was in quite a hurry to change my outfit after the interview. Every year, President Snow opened his palace for the sake of a dinner in the victor's honour and they wanted me to match the occasion. They wanted to be so quick that I had to drag Enobaria along while they prepped me so that I even had a chance to talk to her.

"They love you," she admitted. "Maybe a bit too much."

"What do you mean?" I inquired with closed eyes since Dalia was just applying the eye shadow.

"I just... I just worry about you," she said. "Next year, I won't be here to look out for you."

"And I won't be the one in danger anymore," I reminded her.

My mentor sighed heavily. "You say that so casually-"

"Oh, but surely she isn't in danger in the Capitol," Octavian scolded gently. "Who would ever dare to harm her?"

I opened my eyes to look at him, causing Dalia to curse under her breath as her work was interrupted.

"You mean, aside from the people who put me into an arena to fight to the death?" I said pointedly.

Octavian looked positively horrified and Serena actually hit me on the head with the brush.

"Sorry," I said with a look at the stern face of my mentor. "I'm a bit on edge tonight."

"Well, keep that temper in check." Tigris had swept into the room without us noticing. Dalia practically jumped aside to make way for the stylist. It was ridiculous, really, how much they worshiped her. I wondered when they would start kissing her feet. "I want the attention on my dress, thank you very much."

And she was very right with that wish. The dress, once again, was magnificent; only it did not have much in common with the previous ones. Gone were innocence and bright colours; this one was in a deep black and it made me absolutely - beautiful. I took in my appearance and then turned to Tigris.

"This is amazing, I never-"

"You make it shine, honey," she purred.

"Oh, I think it's the other way round," I complimented, while in the mirror, Enobaria was watching me critically.

No doubt she thought of 'liking me to much' again; I wondered where that notion came from all of a sudden.

I had never been to a real party before and in all honesty, it overwhelmed me. So many people, so much noise, more food than I had ever seen. Apparently, they invited previous victors, too, because I saw Cashmere and Gloss in the crowd, laughing with a few Capitol citizens. The two were siblings and had won the Games in two subsequent years.

"Countenance," Marcia whispered into my ear. "Smiles."

Felix opened his mouth, no doubt to snap at Marcia for her insistence, but Enobaria handed him a plate and he started eating instead. Enobaria winked at me, but then her face suddenly fell as she looked at something behind my back.

I turned slightly to see what she was staring at. In the midst of a group of Capitolites was Finnick Odair, laughing and joking with them. It was a group of men and women, though the latter clearly outnumbered the males. One of the men, an elderly, chubby person, gazed right back at me. His eyes move up and down and I shifted uncomfortably under his leering before I turned back to Enobaria.

"Why do you pull that face?"

"I have my reasons." With that, she walked away briskly through the crowd and when I caught sight of her again, she just downed a rather large glass of a clear liquid, Haymitch from Twelve toasting to her.

I did not have much time to dwell on the doings of my mentor, though. Many wanted to congratulate me yet again and I smiled and shook hands while Marcia whispered their names into my ear ("Oh, that's Tertia Montenegro, she sponsored you!" and "Look, that's Gaius Letier. He and his wife just divorced, it's quite the scandal!").

When we were about an hour in, Marcia suddenly lost her calm. "Oh," she squeaked. "Look!"

A tall, but thin man made his way through the crowd. He wore glasses so big that they almost covered his entire face, but he still managed to draw the attention away from that with his silver, sparkling hair.

"Who's that?" I asked.

"That's Bacchus Edge. He's the Head Gamemaker."

It was as if I had run against a brick wall. This was the man. This scrawny man with the silly glasses was the man who had thought up my arena; who had thought it a good idea to throw us into a desert; who had thought up obstacles, mutts, sandstorms to get us killed.

I had expected him to be more menacing, more sinister. This man looked utterly harmless.

"Miss Smitt, what a pleasure to finally meet you!"

I needed Marcia to elbow me in the ribs before I could answer. "Pleasure's all mine," I assured hastily.

"I do have to congratulate you on your performance in the arena. That was quite something."  
>I could do this, I found. He made just the same comments as everyone else. The Head Gamemaker, this designer of death, was just like everyone else. Harmless.<p>

"Thank you very much, Sir."

He nodded to that and seemed awfully satisfied with himself. "While we're at it - President Snow has expressed his desire to meet you again. At once, if you don't mind."

I blinked at him, taken aback by the sudden turn of conversation. What could the president possibly want to meet me for?

Apparently, Bacchus Edge had decided to ignore my stupefied expression and continued on, "Right through that door." He pointed it out for me. "And then one of the Avoxes will lead you right to him."

I nodded, to assure him that I had heard his directions, for I still did not quite know what to say to that.

"And, Miss Smitt, quickly, if I may insist."

Whether or not he should have insisted did not matter, for he already had and Marcia grabbed me by the arm and pulled me forcefully away.

"I'm very ashamed of you," she scolded as I hurried to keep up with her. "You were absolutely horrible."

"Sorry," I said. "He just took me by surprise."

"Well, then, control your surprise when you talk to President Snow!" she snapped. "I really don't need you to embarrass me even further."

I did not want to embarrass myself, either. After assuring her that I would certainly be better, now that the moment of surprise was gone, Marcia ushered me through the door.

The Avox that Edge had announced in fact already awaited me. I thought Avoxes to be rather creepy. Becoming an Avox was a punishment for rebelling against the Capitol. They cut out their tongues and forced them to be servants in the city.

My heart clenched suddenly at the thought of punishment. Was this what was happening here? Had I done something wrong, committed some sever fault and was now dragged to Snow who would judge over me? But that was ridiculous, I had never done anything wrong!  
>And yet, the thought remained, even as the Avox led me into President Snow's office. He was already there. Perfectly done hair, the brushed out beard and the fine suit; he looked like always did on TV. The same he had looked when he had crowned me half a year ago.<p>

He motioned for me to sit and I silently sank down on a chair in front of his desk.  
>I had to admit that I was nervous now. Every moment that he did not speak, my heart beat faster, my palms got sweatier and I felt sicker. I tried to desperately think of what I had done to anger the Capitol. What fault had I committed? And, more importantly, what was Snow going to do to me now?<p>

"Berenice," he said finally, my name lingering strangely on his lips. "Why do you think you won?"

I swallowed hard, unsure what he wanted to hear. "I think I won fair and square," I said. "Because I was the best."

"Certainly," he said. "Here, in the Capitol, we love the best of the best. So we love our victors dearly."

"I'm sure," I said. "Everyone's been really-"

"Of course, it's only fitting that our victors repay us for our kindness, don't you think, Miss Smitt?"

I wanted to say that I repaid them enough, that I entertained them by slaughtering innocent children and that every day I pretended to be happy about it for their benefit. But I doubted that would do me any good, so I kept silent.

"I'm sure you've met Mr Odair-"

Of course I had, even if I had only seen him from afar. No one could miss Finnick Odair.

"I have," I confirmed carefully. "Though I have to say, I-"

"Are you aware of what Mr Odair does for the Capitol?"

I blinked, surprised as the puzzle pieces started to fit together in my head. Odair, the pretty boy who won because of the graciousness of his sponsors. Who had a fling with pretty much every woman that crossed his path. Who had to repay the Capitol.

"If you are insinuating-" I started.

"I'm saying that Mr Odair lends his company to those who require it for our mutual benefit," Snow said.

I swallowed hard as it became very clear where this was leading. "Mr President, I-"

"Since you are rather popular with my citizens," he said slowly. "I am tempted to offer you the same arrangement."

Before I could stop myself, the words were already out of my mouth. "You want me to be a whore?"

"Please mind your words," Snow said in light, conversational tone. "And I think you got my meaning."

"What if I don't?" I inquired.

"How is your family holding up?" he asked. "I heard your uncle's wife tends to be sickly."

I glared at him, trying hard to find a place in my mind that was not filled with anger and hatred because I did not want to dig myself even deeper in this mess. I could not let him hurt my family.

"What do you say?" Snow asked casually, as if he had not just blackmailed me into being a prostitute. "Do I need to rearrange my plans?"

"I don't think that will be necessary, Sir," I pressed out between my teeth.

"Excellent," Snow said. "I knew Panem could count on you, Miss Smitt."

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	6. The Note

**Thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most of all to "Guest" and "Apple" for reviewing. Hope y'all enjoy this new chapter.**

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><p><strong>The Note<strong>

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><p>"So?" I asked. "Any last minute advice?"<p>

Enobaria took a sip from her tea and then shook her head at me.

When we had moved into the Victor's Village, my family and I had been assigned the house right next to my mentor. District Two had a rather large group of victors. We were the model district; one time, we had won the Games three times in a row. Therefore, the Victor's Village was always full of life. On holidays, when a lot of the victors had visitors, it became almost crowded. Still, Enobaria was the one I saw the most often.

Usually, we would just sit and talk about everything and nothing. Today, though, I had come for the advice that she refused to give. It was Reaping Day.

"Come on," I urged. "I'm going in there the first time, I'm not at all prepared."

Enobaria sighed and shrugged. "Nothing can prepare you for that."

"You prepared me for the arena," I reasoned. "And do you remember what advice you gave me?"

"The same I always give my tributes," she said.

"Always listen to your mentor," we finished together.

"Now," I continued. "I still want to follow that advice. So-?"

"All right," she finally agrees. "But there's really not much. Play nice with District One. Cashmere and Gloss are nice enough, but I'm guessing they won't love how you screwed their tributes over last year. So that'll require some work."

I pulled a face at that thought, one I had never contemplated. Of course they would be wary of me. Then again, it was ridiculous to assume that the Career districts would not ally. I would just have to make clear to my tribute how careful she had to be around her allies.

"Make sure your girl tries the survival skills station, too. You never know what they'll find at the Cornucopia."

I nodded briskly, quite aware of that fact. In my mother's games, there had been no food at the Cornucopia, whatsoever. In my games, though, there had only been food at the Cornucopia since the desert did not really grow much that was eatable.

"And most importantly," Enobaria said. "Don't get attached."

I had every intention of heeding her warning. It was the strangest thing, suddenly standing on the other side of the reaping. I still had three years to go until I had to worry about Basil. Until then, my only worry was if the girl who volunteered would be able to make it.

Once upon a time, the reapings had been different: a name would be drawn, and when the potential stood on the stage, shaking in fear, our escort would ask if there were any volunteers. But no one could remember a time when District Two did not have volunteers and so, for a few years now, no one bothered with drawing a name anymore.

The girl that volunteered was tall and muscled. She walked up to the stage with a skip in her step and boldly announced her name. Amelia Harper. By her accent, I figured she came from the far off part of the district, a part where it was always warm and dry.  
>The other tribute was a large, brutish boy named Remus Barley. They shook hands politely, but I missed neither Remus' sneer nor Amelia's raised eyebrow. If I was not mistaken, this year's alliance would not be all that stable.<p>

I spent the train ride trying to figure out what the two could do, while Felix sat next to me, brooding. I did not find out much. The two had undergone the usual training at the academy and were therefore reasonably skilled with a lot of weapons. Also, they displayed the usual arrogance, the same Justin and I had had just last year. But arrogance was dangerous. It had prevented me from taking the necessary precaution and that, in turn, had ultimately killed Justin. Yet, I did not know how to make that clear to them and Felix refused to even say a word.

I recommended the Survival Skills Station and predictably, they both scoffed at my suggestion.

"We're careers," Amelia said. "We don't need survival skills."

"Sometimes they don't give you food or water. I'd rather not see you starve to death."

Remus actually rolled his eyes at me. "We'll have sponsors."

I did not know how to respond to that; repelled, I turned to Felix for help, but he just shrugged it off. "Let them do what they want."

The two of them both smirked at me but soon became distracted by our arrival at the Capitol. Marcia ushered them onto the platform, uttering her usual orders.

We dropped them off at the Remake Centre and I immediately rounded on Felix.

"I could really need your help, you know?"

"You're doing fine," he said.

"If you keep on brooding, these two are going to end up dead," I seethed.

"Guess what - it happens," he said before striding off into the city.

I stared after him, shaking my head. Enobaria and him seemed to have gotten along - why could he not pull himself together and just work with me? Enough to give our tributes the best chance, at least!

"Trouble?"

I whirled around and for a short moment, my mind went to all the possible ways to defend myself. Grinning widely, Finnick Odair stood right in front of me and he cocked his head to the side as I glared at him.

"Sorry," he said finally when my expression did not soften. "Didn't mean to startle you."

"But you did," I said. "You should know better than to sneak up on a victor."

"I think I could handle you, sweetheart," he said joyfully.

He was probably right. I was not a dwarf, but I was not a giant, either. Finnick, though, was reasonably tall and there was no doubt about his strength. He would definitely win if we ever got in a fight. But I would not let him know that.

"Don't bet on it," I said. "I can take you."

Finnick chuckled lazily and motioned for me to follow him out of the Remake Centre. I was not entirely sure why I did, but I hurried to catch up to him.

"So," he said. "Saw your tributes. They look pretty good."

"They are pretty good," I retorted. "Can't say that about yours."

District Four had slowly developed into a Career district, too - but they did not get volunteers every year. The boy this year had volunteered, but I doubted that he would make it against the others. The girl, though, was a tiny brown-haired thing, pale as death as she stood shivering on the stage.

"Annie's tougher than she looks," Finnick assured me. "Excellent swimmer. Good with knots and nets."

He grinned at me again and I raised my eyebrows. "What do you want, Odair?"

Finnick waggled his eyebrows at me and I stopped dead in my tracks. I had done my absolute best to convince myself that my whole talk with President Snow had just been a bad dream. But I could not forget; could never forget that even though Finnick was being flirtatious and cocky, he was not doing this voluntarily.

"Get to the point," I said.

"A one-two-four alliance worked very well in the past few years," he said. "I'm just laying foundations."

My eyebrows rose again. "You'd like to ally with Two? Even after what I did last year?"

"Bygones are bygones," he said. "Now, you're a mentor, that's different. We lot stick together."

I eyed him thoughtfully. He seemed honest, but that did not mean much. To do what Finnick had to do, he had to be an excellent liar. And I would not risk my tributes' lives, just because I chose to trust Finnick Odair.

"How about you talk to Felix about that?" I suggested. "Seems like the right way to do it."

Finnick shrugged. "Bradshaw's such a buzzkill," he informed me. "I'd much rather talk things through with you."

"Well, you can't," I said.

Finnick merely grinned once more and then shrugged at me. "We'll see. Bye, dear."

With that, he sauntered into a small alleyway and disappeared from sight. I frowned after him, fed up with being left alone like that.

I had been given the exact time when I had to arrive at the stands to watch the chariot rides. Until then, though, they had not made plans for me. It was strange to be allowed to just stroll through the city.  
>I did not get to appreciate it long at all, soon, various Capitolites had spotted me. Many wanted to talk to me, some asked me to take pictures with them. I smiled and agreed, but as soon as I could, I slipped away and hurried to the city loop.<p>

The mentor's stands were already filled with groups of chattering people. I spotted Felix at the far back, standing with a blond-haired pair that I identified as Cashmere and Gloss from One. The two were siblings and had won in two consecutive years. I made my way through the crowd and joined them.

"There you are," Felix grumbled. "Thought you got lost."

"Hardly," I said.

We glowered at each other for a while, before Cashmere suddenly interrupted. "Nice to meet you, anyway," she said with a smile.

"Pleasure's all mine," I said.

Felix frowned at me, but Gloss nudged him in the ribs. "Loosen up, mate."

"So," Cashmere said. "Felix proposed allying, but with last year in mind..."

I kept my face emotionless at her statement that was surely meant to irk me. "Bygones are bygones," I quoted Finnick. "Now, I'm a mentor, that's different."

Cashmere and Gloss smiled at each other and then she answered, "Then, that's settled."

The lights around the city loop lightened up and the attention was immediately drawn downwards. I stepped closer to Felix.

"Odair has approached me," I whispered. "He wants to ally."

Felix never looked at me, but he answered. "What did you tell him?"

"To talk to you," I said. "But he insisted on settling things with me."

Felix' eyes darted over to the other side of the stands, where Finnick had arrived at the last moment and was now chatting with the rather old woman that mentored with him.

"Fine," Felix breathed back. "I'll talk things through with Cashmere and Gloss and then you can settle things with Four."

I nodded and then turned my attention to the street below, since the first chariot had just emerged. But I paid them no mind, for our tributes came right after. They were dressed in ancient warrior's gear, with golden helmets and shields. Both of them seemed stoic, none of them even smiled. Felix groaned, frustrated, when the audience became immediately distracted by the pair of Three that waved and smiled enthusiastically.

"That could've gone better," Felix commented dryly.

I pursed my lips. That was an understatement. I doubted that Two would ever have to worry about sponsors, but a little cooperation by our own tributes would have been nice. I knew for a fact that neither Marcia nor Tigris would have told them to be that sour. So what the hell were these two even thinking?

The chariot of Ten passed us, both tributes staffed with ridiculous cowboy hats.

"Maybe," I said lowly. "If you hadn't encouraged them to do whatever they want, this would have gone better."

"So, now it's my fault?" Felix hissed back while the last chariot drove by.

"Well, it's certainly not mine," I bit back.

I pushed through the crowd, fully intending on not speaking another word to Felix for the rest of the day. Just as I was about to leave the stands, a hand grabbed my shoulder.

For the second time that day, I whirled around, but this time, I actually punched the one who touched me. Not in the face, but on the arm - still, it seemed to have hurt the man. A Capitol official, surely he had never been hit before in his life.

"What?" I snapped before he could even say anything.

"Message," the man muttered and handed me a note before he hurried off.

I frowned after him before I unfolded the note and froze in horror. It did not say much.

A name. An address. A time.

President Snow was not joking when he demanded my cooperation in selling me. He was demanding that cooperation right now.

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><p><strong>Reviews make me happy ;)<strong>


	7. Natural Ally

**I sadly didn't get any reviews for the last chapter but still I'd like to thank everyone for reading and it would mean very much to me if you'd review this week.**

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><p><strong>Natural Ally<strong>

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><p>Justin had suggested visiting the rooftop in the first place. I remembered scoffing at him and telling him that I would rather get a good night's sleep than hang out at a chilly roof terrace.<br>Only now, a year afterwards, did I visit the rooftop. I had not slept a bit. I could not - not in the room at Level Two that, in itself, would keep me up, and not with recent events in mind. There was no way I could step under the sceptic eyes of my tributes now. I had showered at least five times since last night, but had fled our level just before the two returned from training.  
>It was not that the man had been rough or obscene or anything like that. But it had still felt wrong. Of course it had. I had never met the man before!<p>

I willed the tears back down. Starting to cry would only make things worse. They could force me into prostitution, but I would never let them think that they broke me. They would never break me.  
>But the tears were still threatening to come. What would my family say if they ever learnt of what I had agreed to do? I could imagine Aunt Olivia's disappointed expression and Basil's wide eyes when he understood things that he should not at his age...<p>

"Trouble?"  
>This time I did not even turn around to look at Finnick. His voice did not seem as cheerful as it had yesterday. I wondered if he was plagued by similar thoughts.<p>

"Loads and loads of it," I breathed.

"Sounds familiar," he said.

Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as he sat down right next to me. "Was it very bad?"

"How do you even know?" I asked tiredly.

"I hear things," Finnick responded.

"Great," I said, staring at the roofs of the city, glistening in the afternoon sun. "Now, I'm not just a two-dollar whore, everybody's talking about me, too."

"Wouldn't say everybody," he tried to comfort me.

I finally turned to face him to find him watching me intently. "How do you do it?" I asked. "How do you live with this?"

He shrugged. "I just do. One day at time, year after year. One day, it'll get better."

"You think?" I asked.

"That's what Mags tells me - my mentor," he added at my confused look.

I nodded slightly at his explanation. For a moment, we sat together, neither of us saying a word. I did not know what to tell him, I did not even know Finnick. All I knew was that he understood - and that I pitied him, now, for what I knew he had to endure.

"Did you talk to Felix?" I inquired, causing Finnick to laugh.

"Told you - I don't have the patience to deal with him."

"I can understand that," I said dryly.

Again, we sat silently, staring at the city.

I wondered what would happen if anyone tried to jump from here. There was no way they would let any mentor or tribute up here if there was a chance that they could escape into death.

"I guess I can get your tributes into Final Six," I said abruptly. "I really don't see why not."

Finnick chuckled lightly. "Maybe we can work out a little more detail," he suggested. "Let's just say, my boy and your girl had some kind of Final Two agreement-"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves," I interrupted him, grinning. "I don't trust you further than I can throw you and that's not very far."

"Obviously," Finnick drawled. "You just think if you'd rather trust any of the others."

My grin dropped and I glared at him. "Nice try," I said. "But it didn't work."

No doubt did Felix and I have our quarrels but that did not mean I could not trust him with my tribute. I was anticipating One screwing us over, but what was I to expect after last year?  
>I would not let this pretty boy from Four make me mistrust my allies.<p>

Shortly after, I entered our apartment at Level Two to find the whole team assembled around the television.

"There you are," Marcia chipped. "We thought you were gonna miss the Training Scores."

"Of course not," I lied smoothly. In all honesty, I had forgotten about the announcement completely; but there was no need to tell them that.

"Well, get over here," Amelia said. "They're just beginning."

She was right. They were just announcing the scores for District One - both high: the boy a 10 and the girl a 9.

"From District Two - Remus Barley. A 10!"

Remus nodded contently while Marcia pulled him into flimsy hug and Felix clapped him on the back.

"From District Two - Amelia Harper. A 10!"

I cheered, hugging Amelia myself. "Very good, very good," I sang, while Amelia pulled away to high-five with Remus.

The last two days flew by in a blur. It was my luck that while I did not have the time to search for sponsors, the sponsors were inviting me into their beds. It was surprisingly easy to convince them of sponsoring District Two.

Amelia and Remus did all right in their interviews, but they were both arrogant and stoic, just like they had presented themselves at the chariot rides.

That night was the first time that Amelia actually cracked. She stood in front of me, asking meekly, "Any last tips?"

I had to gather my thoughts for a few moments because of the change of perspective. This was what it really meant to be a mentor - a terrified girl turning to me for advice.

"Watch your back," I said. "You can trust Remus, but none of the others. Don't let them scream - and otherwise, I think you can handle yourself."

"You'll always be watching, right?" she asked gently.

"Of course I will," I said. "I'll do everything I can to help you."

I was in fact prepared to do just that. They brought the mentors into a separate control room close to the arena very early in the morning. A technology assistant instructed me on how to use my headset and the control display.

By now, my heart was pounding fast due to nervousness and my palms got sweaty. I remembered how last year, I had been eerily calm. Maybe because it had just been my life I had been responsible for back then. There was more at risk this time, even though I was not put in danger myself.

Felix, Cashmere and Gloss were standing together at the buffet and I walked over to join them.

"There you are," Cashmere smiled. "Nervous?"

"Hardly," I said, hoping not to display any of my symptoms.

"I know I was," Gloss commented. "Then again, my sister here was in there, so..."  
>Cashmere gently stroked her brother's arm before she stalked off to her seat. Gloss and Felix turned back to the buffet while I looked after her. I did not even want to imagine what it would be like to have my cousins in the Games... my mind immediately produced a picture of Ligeia, so vibrant and joyful, falling in the arena. The idea of how limb her body would be as she was lifted up by the hovercraft sent a cold shiver through my body.<p>

"Oh, look," Felix said at that moment. "Why do they still let Mags mentor?"

I turned my head slightly and saw Finnick and his fellow mentor, the elderly Mags, enter the room. Finnick smirked at me and I nodded at him in greeting.

"I really don't know," Gloss said. "Not that it matters."

Frowning, I looked over at him. "But we're allying with her tribute."

"Are we?" Gloss said with a slight smile. "I had the impression we aren't."

"What?" I asked. "We talked about this-"

"Maybe we forgot to tell you," Felix offered coldly. "We made a last minute change of plans."

I opened my mouth, but no words came out. I looked back and forth between them. "No. No, you didn't."

"We kicked Four out," Gloss informed me. "They'll only be holding us back. It's more merciful to kill them off quickly."

"We promised them," I argued heatedly. "We can't just go back on our word!"

Felix shrugged tiredly before popping a grape into his mouth. I glared at him and he sauntered of closely followed by Gloss, who was carrying a plate full of food.  
>I kept standing there, frozen, unable to decide what to do now. It was too late, I realized that. Even if I warned Finnick and Mags right now, that would not change anything for we could not reach our tributes now. The Careers would slaughter Four's tributes without a second thought.<p>

"Morning," Finnick chirped into my ear and I flinched violently. "No need to be so jumpy."

"I need to tell you something," I blurted out.

Finnick grinned at me. "Go ahead, gorgeous."

"They kicked you out of the alliance."

Finnick's eyes widened suddenly. "You kicked me out without telling me?"

"I only just learnt," I told him. "They didn't tell me."

He took a deep, steadying breath before he looked over to where Felix was chatting with the two drunkards from Eleven and Twelve. I had watched Finnick's games and yet I had never seen him look quite so murderous.

"The sad thing is," he said. "That was a jab at you, not at me."

I swallowed hard as I realized that he was right. This was probably One's way to get back at me for last year.

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I really am."

"I'm telling Mags," he said offhandedly and then stalked off.

I pulled a face, glaring over at Felix and Gloss, who were laughing together. I could not believe that they had actually done this. I would have never trusted the two from One, but I had trusted Felix enough to think that he would not screw me over. I realized now how wrong I had been.

"Mentors please take your seats. Games will launch in two minutes. Repeat: Games will launch in two minutes."

The announcer's voice echoed through the room and the different little groups dissolved as all the mentors took their seats. I walked over and sat down next to Felix without even looking at him.

"Four's tributes would have never made it, anyway," he hissed at me, though. "So get over yourself."

"We'll see," I said. "We'll see exactly who will make it."

"Attention, mentors," the voice echoed again as the displays in front of us came to life. "Games will be launched in one minute."

I saw her now. Amelia was standing on her pedestal, the girl from Seven on her right and the boy from Ten on her left. Remus was standing at the other side of the circle, with the girl from Four right next to him.  
>The countdown ticked and with each passing second, my heart pounded faster. Ten seconds... hopefully they'd kill them mercifully... seven seconds... I tried to tell myself that Amelia had a good chance to make it... four seconds... what if she didn't? Three, two, one.<br>The gong sounded and all the tributes bolted from the plates. I saw Amelia rushing towards the Cornucopia, and, much to my dismay, I spotted both tributes from Four running in the same direction.

And then, the first tributes had reached the weapons. It was Remus who had grabbed the first sword and with a long, clean swipe, he cut the head of Four's boy right off. Blood splattered everywhere while his head landed on the ground with a dull thud.  
>I wanted to look at Finnick, to assure him off my sympathy, but I was too worried that in the short time that I would not pay attention, something might happen to Amelia.<br>She had grabbed a spear and rammed it into the stomach of Three's girl.

The tributes died like flies. I could not even keep track of who Amelia killed and who was slain by the others. It lasted over an hour and the whole time I was at the edge of my seat. It felt like every muscle had tightened in my body.  
>Finally, the remaining tributes had run off and the Careers gathered around the Cornucopia. The voice announced that sponsor gifts could be delivered now and at once, the remaining mentors ordered supplies into the arena. While Felix ordered medicine, I finally felt brave enough to look at Finnick. I was actually surprised that he was still here. I raised my eyebrows at him and he smirked at me.<p>

"Told you," he said. "Annie's tougher than she looks. She got away."

He gestured to his screen and I saw his tribute rushing through the arena's forest.


	8. The Body

**So, again, I got no reviews, that wasn't so good, but thanks to everyone who read and favourited. Hope you will enjoy this new chapter!**

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><p><strong>The Body<strong>

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><p>For the next five days, I barely slept. Every night, I trusted Felix with watching over Amelia for about two hours. He slept longer, leaving me with responsibility for both our tributes once I returned. I did not talk to him apart from that. On a solely personal level, I would have even rather trusted Finnick. But with his male tribute dead, Finnick set everything on getting Annie out of there alive. I could not trust him with Amelia's life. I pitied him for the way his tribute had been slain, I pitied him because the others had betrayed him.<br>I refused to talk to Cashmere and Gloss, too. They found it amusing, I assumed, that I took this so hard. I wished I could get Amelia out of that alliance, but neither of us had any chance to contact our tributes. As a mentor, you really could not do much. All I could do was sit back and watch.

During the fifth night, I was shaken awake. At once, I panicked - being awoken could only mean that something had happened to Amelia. But it was not Felix, as I had presumed in my sleepy haze. It was Finnick, grinning wickedly. "I thought you might want to see this."

I sat up, fully awake now, even as the adrenaline started to ebb out. The screens showed the Career pack. The boy from One and Remus were shouting at each other. One's girl was backing her partner, while Amelia cowered in the back, looking on warily.

"Why are they fighting?" I asked Finnick.

"Oh, your boy has some weird plan to set a bit of the forest on fire. He wants to try and drive the others out of their hiding places," he explained.

"That could work," I offered.

Finnick pulled a face, but he did not seem too concerned. "They're afraid he'll burn the whole arena down," he told me. "I think they're right."

"You just don't want them to roast Annie," I said, getting up.

Together, we walked over to join the other mentors at the chairs. Felix was frowning deeply, watching the action with crossed arms. Cashmere and Gloss were equally tense, watching our tributes' every move with great concentration. It was obvious that there would be a fight very soon. With every word spoken, the fight escalated even more. I was not too worried about Amelia, though. She was obviously ready to run, even now. She had drawn back as if in fear, but she had chosen her spot very wisely. If a fight ensued, Amelia would be off and gone within the blink of an eye.

"I don't think I have to fear for Annie," Finnick commented. "It doesn't look good for your boy."

Felix glared at him spitefully. "Like this or otherwise, your girl will die, Odair."

"Or not," Finnick said cheerfully. "But your boy will die for sure."

I pulled a face at that. I cared more for Amelia than I did for Remus, no doubt. But I still knew the boy - how was I supposed to joke about his life? How could Finnick do that? Felix, too, sneered at Four's mentor, causing Finnick to throw his hands into the air in defeat. Then, he sauntered off, joining his elderly mentor a few seats away.

"We have to do something," I said to Felix. "They have to stop."

"They won't," he said bitterly. "Fights like this never end. They draw their weapons and one of them dies. This is how it goes."

"No," I said. "No."

But it was no matter if I denied it or not. For Felix was exactly right. Before I knew it, both Remus and his opponent had grabbed weapons; Remus a spear and the other one a sword. Amelia screamed at them to stop, but they paid her no mind. Remus tried to block the other boy with his spear, but the boy had obviously counted on that. He stepped past Remus' weapon and swung his sword. He cut deep into Remus' arm, who cursed and stabbed at the boy. Remus barely scratched him, though; the boy had sidestepped him again. Remus staggered back a few steps; maybe he thought that he could throw the spear at the boy. He never got around to it.

The girl from One had grabbed a spear of her own and while Remus retreated, she rammed it into his back. The force of it drove the spear straight through his body. Remus looked down, his mouth opened silently and then he crumbled and landed on the floor in dead heep.

Felix let out an angry scream while I covered my mouth with my hands. The canon sounded while the two tributes of One smirked at each other. The moment Remus had fallen, Amelia had darted from her place and now she ran as fast as she could towards the same woods Annie had disappeared into, too.

Felix stormed off right after Remus' death even though I had begged him not to. I watched over Amelia on my own now and I was close to collapse. I had not slept since the incident and it had been almost two days. But the adrenaline of seeing Amelia fend for herself was doing its job and keeping me awake.  
>The other two Careers were still hunting for her. Since she had run off, the two had been looking everywhere for her. They failed to notice other hiding tributes several times because they had become so fixated on finding Amelia. Finnick's Annie was hiding in the same spot she had occupied for all the Games. A small cave beneath the trunk of an incredibly large tree that she only left to get water and food whenever she felt it was safe to do so. I wondered how long the Gamemakers would allow her to remain in her safe spot.<p>

"It's getting boring," Cecilia from District Eight commented. Eight's boy was also still in hiding and Cecilia had taken the watch from Woof, who had just granted himself some rest.

"Yeah," Finnick agreed. "I wonder how long they'll let it go like this."

Probably not long. They way it went now, the Gamemakers would launch a feast or send some muttations to drive the tributes out of their hiding places. I dreaded the moment even though I realized that it was inevitable. Amelia was in everything but a good position, but I still hoped that the other Careers would focus on the other tributes once the action came. It was at least a possibility.  
>There was a loud cracking sound that drove my attention back to the screens. Obviously, the noise surprised everyone, because for about half a minute, the cameras switched back and forth between different angles before they found the source of the incessant crunching. It was the dam at the northern border of the arena. I took a step towards the screen, frown deepening.<p>

As I watched, crack after crack appeared in the huge wall. My eyes widened with the realization of what was happening.

"Shit," I breathed.

I did not know if Amelia could swim. Chances were she could not, people from her part of the District rarely could. If that dam broke... there would be a whole lot of water. I looked over to the others and found that most looked as horrified as I felt. There were only two exceptions. Finnick had woken Mags and the two of them appeared almost thrilled. Coming from Four, Annie would be an excellent swimmer. Her chances had just skyrocketed.

I rushed back to my seat and pressed the button at the side.

"Deployment center," the usual bored voice answered.

"This is Berenice Smitt from District Two. I need buoyancy aids delivered to Amelia Harper immediately," I announced.

"There is no deep water in the arena," the voice informed me. "Buoyancy aids cannot be delivered."

"Are you kidding me?" I hissed at the speaker. Around me, other mentors had followed my example and were equally astounded at the answer. "The dam's going to break!"

"There is no deep water in the arena," the voice repeated monotonously. "Buoyancy aids cannot be delivered."

I cursed loudly while I watched the first streaks of water leaking through the dam. Maybe I had been wrong before and this was planned. Maybe they wanted all their tributes to drown. On the other hand, seeing seven tributes drown was not very spectacular.

"Oh, c'mon!" I heard Gloss yell next to me. On the other side, Finnick laughed at him.

Then, the dam broke.

My monitor showed me that Amelia had heard the noise, too and I now watched the horrified look on her face as she saw the mass of water rolling towards her. She screamed, and then she ran, but it was no use. Within seconds, the water had washed over her. For a moment, I was sure she was dead. But my screen did not turn black and after almost a minute, Amelia emerged from the waves, desperately trying to keep her head out of the water.  
>By now, the arena was completely flooded and the water was still rising rapidly. I pressed the button again. "Berenice Smitt from District Two," I bit out. "Buoyancy aids for Amelia Harper, now."<p>

"Noted," the voice announced. "Please note that sponsor gifts can't be delivered during active combat."

"Active combat?" I yelled. "This is no combat at all!"

There was a short silence on the other side of the line before the voice answered, "Buoyancy aids will be delivered within the next few minutes."

"Now!" I exclaimed. "I needed those yesterday!"

By now, several tributes were already dead. Eight's boy had drowned. One's girl had never emerged from the floods. Every minute seemed to have another death. Amelia still struggled to keep out of the water, but I saw that she was getting weaker and more desperate

"Deployment center!" I snapped.

"Buoyancy aids are being delivered right now," the voice told me and my head snapped back to the monitor. I saw the small parachute sailing down towards Amelia, but she did not seem to notice it.

"Eyes up," I muttered. "Eyes up, Amelia, it's almost there!"

The package landed in the water a few feet away from her, but Amelia was oblivious.

"Please," I whispered urgently. "Please, girl..."  
>But she did not see it. It floated away, unnoticed. I watched incredulously while Amelia made yet another desperate attempt at keeping over the water. She failed. Suddenly, she was gone, no camera could find her. And then, my monitor turned off.<p>

I spent the next day in a strange kind of numb stupor. After Amelia, the remaining tributes had drowned - apart from Annie Cresta of course. She had easily kept herself floating, almost relaxedly on her back and waited the others out. For a short, unpleasant while, I loathed both her and Finnick for pulling this stunt off. Then, I returned to my senses. It was madness to blame someone for surviving.  
>Madness was a good word, anyway. Annie had returned from the arena as a mental wreck. She stared off into nothingness or started screaming at the strangest times. For a while, they did not know if they could even interview her, but had finally hooked her up with so much morphling that at least she did not start yelling in the middle of Caesar's questions. She did not really answer them, either, but they put up with it.<p>

I had found Felix in our apartment in the Training Center, pouting on the couch. I wondered if he had done the same thing when Justin had died.

"Oh," he said as I arrived. "Are they done?"

"Haven't you watched?" I inquired tiredly.

"You can turn them off here," he said, gesturing to the TV. "A luxury I grant myself every year."

I shook my head at him before sitting down on the couch next to him. "She's dead."

"Obviously," he said. "You didn't really think you could bring her home, did you?"

"The dam broke," I told him. "She just drowned... if she had just seen the parachute... if I had just told her to always look out for them-"

"She would have still drowned," Felix said forcefully.  
>I wanted to tell him that he could not know that, that he had not even watched her die, but I could not. I did not want to fight with him again.<p>

"Once they're in there, we can't help them. She isn't the first," he said, almost gently.

"She's my first," I mumbled.

"And she won't be the last," Felix prophesied. "Don't beat yourself up about it."

"Like you?" I asked.

"Do as I say, don't do as I do," he said with a weak grin.

We sat together in silence for a while and it was the first time that I actually felt comfortable around him.

"Sorry about that thing with Four, by the way," Felix commented offhandedly. "Odair and I just don't get along."

I shrugged. "Didn't really matter, did it? He got the girl out of there."

Felix groaned and rolled his eyes. "I'll never hear the end of that."

I looked over to him ot see him honestly unnerved and to our shared surprise, I actually giggled. "I should hope not."

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><p><strong>Reviews would be very welcome ;)!<strong>


	9. My Brother's Keeper

**Thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and to Layla Knowe for reviewing. I hope y'all enjoy this new chapter ;)**

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><p><strong>My Brother's Keeper<strong>

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><p>Amelia's mother had cried. The casket had been unloaded onto the platform and the woman had practically thrown herself across it. I wanted to go over to her and offer my condolences, to apologize, but before I could even take a step towards her, two Peacekeepers had grabbed her and took her away. They dragged her along while she screamed for her daughter. She yelled Amelia's name over and over again, as if she hoped that her screams would bring the girl back.<p>

They had not even shown _us_ the body, though according to Felix, they usually did. I did not want to think about the reason for that. Felix had gone to see Remus' corpse, but I could not bring myself to do that, either. The mere idea of it felt wrong. I had not seen Justin's corpse either. The idea of seeing inanimate what had once been so _alive_... it bothered me.

A few days later, I was sitting on the back porch, hoping for some peace and quiet - me, alone with my thoughts. As per usual in this household, I did not get that luxury. I loved my family, more than anything, really. But they were everywhere. Even my own bedroom was no place of privacy. Ligeia, lively seven-year-old that she was, hardly understood my need for solitude. Neither did her brother.

Basil joined me outside, sitting down quietly next to me. I looked over at him with raised eyebrows, but he had adapted my earlier position and stared straight ahead.

"What's up?" I said.

"You're sad, right?" he asked, finally looking over to me.

"Why do you think that?" I inquired.

"Well," he said. "You're sitting out here and you're being real quiet and-"

I sighed heavily. "I'm just... I'm fine, really. Don't worry about me, Basil."

The boy pulled a face and turned his head again to look at our garden. "Did you like Amelia?"

"'s not important," I said. "What did you think of her?"

He straightened up a little as if he had something very important to say. "I think she and Remus were really stupid," he announced proudly. "For picking fights with the other Careers."

"I fought with them, too, and I won," I told him gently. "I don't think that was her fault."

"But you didn't win the good way," Basil said.

I frowned at him, perplexed. "What do you mean, 'the good way'?" I asked.

Basil bit his lip as if he was not sure how to proceed. I, meanwhile, was dying to hear what he had to say. What could possibly be the 'good way' to win the Hunger Games? There simply was no good way.

"I mean that you betrayed your allies. It had no honour," he said finally.

I raised both eyebrows at him, incredulously. "No honour?"

"You killed them in the night, stabbed others in the back! I've seen it all! You left the boy!" Basil's voice became more and more high-pitched with every word he said. "The way you won was all wrong!"

I sighed heavily, rubbing my hand over my face in exasperation. "Basil, you don't know what you're talking about."

"Why?" he asked stubbornly. "Cause I'm only a child? I'm training now! I'm almost an adult-"

"Hold up," I interrupted him. "What do you mean you're training?"

Basil looked at me as if he considered me being a little stupid. "Means I'm going to the academy, too!" he said. "I'm going into the Games and I'm going to win. The good way."

I stormed inside, pulling the door to Uncle Tycho's study open with so much force that I actually staggered a bit before entering and slamming said door shut behind me. Uncle Tycho looked up from the book he was currently reading and frowned when he saw my infuriated expression.

"Nissa, what-"

"Basil just came to me," I snapped.

Much to his credit, Uncle Tycho seemed to understand at once and set his book down. "I told him not to tell you."

"Oh," I said ironically. "Great. Yeah, that makes sense."

Uncle Tycho sighed heavily and stood up before walking around his desk to join me. "He desperately wanted to, so I thought-"

"I am doing my very best to keep all of you safe!" I said hotly. "To make sure neither Basil nor Ligeia will ever have to enter the Games. And yet, here you are, preparing him just for that!"

Uncle Tycho scratched his head as he listened to my rant. "Listen... Eunice did what they asked her to until you came and she couldn't, anymore. She always wanted to do everything so you wouldn't have to go in there. Yet you did."

Dragging my mother into his was unfair - and predictable. In the years of my training, he used to easily shut me up by the mention of my mother and what she supposedly wanted. But I was not in training, anymore. If one of us could even begin to understand my mother, it would be me.

"I volunteered," I bit out.

"Don't be stupid," Uncle Tycho said. "You would have gone in there no matter what. Olivia and I are just afraid that the same might happen to Basil, so-"

"I'm doing everything I can," I said. "I won't give up the way she did!" Uncle Tycho set to answer, but I held up a hand to stop him. "I'm not my mother."

Uncle Tycho studied me for a moment as if he had to ponder that. "Of course you're not," he said gently.

I took a deep breath to steady myself and shook my head at him. "Basil's talking about honour and winning the games. Fix this now, while you still can!"

He sighed again, massaging his temples. "I tried. They're very insistent at the academy."

"I know," I said. "So pull him out!"

"I can't!" he said forcefully. "And I won't. You'll accept that, now, Berenice."

I raised both eyebrows at him for his attempt at parenting. It had been a long time since he had used that tone with me and I did not like it one bit. "May I remind you, uncle, that you are living in _my _house,off _my _money and under _my _protection? Obviously, you need a reminder of that?"

Uncle Tycho narrowed his eyes at me for my words. "You're just a girl, Nissa."

"You live my life," I said. "And then you tell me again I'm just a girl."

I left Uncle Tycho's study just as furiously as I had entered it. I rushed out of the house and across the Victor's Village, uncaring of who might see me in my fury. Brutus would surely be talking again if he watched my display, but I could not care less.  
>I knocked at the door of Enobaria's house as hard as I could. I waited for a hot second and then knocked again. And again. And again. I hammered against the wall, even though I realized that she obviously was not home.<br>I groaned and leant my head against the door, too. How was all of this happening? I had thought that the trouble would lessen once the Games were done, but apparently, it only got worse.

"She's not home."

I turned around and found Felix standing in the street, watching me curiously. He grinned at first, but the smile quickly dropped when he saw my face. "I know," I said.

"So, what's the face?" he inquired.

"Do you really want to know?" I asked finally abandoning the door and walking towards him.

"Well..."

I shrugged and gestured for him to follow me. "I'm going to the lake," I said.

Felix did not give any form of acknowledgment, but he did follow me. Without a single word spoken between us, we left the Victor's Village and took the street that led through the town and towards the Great Lake. I enjoyed the walk and even more I enjoyed the prospect of being at the lake. Before we had moved, I had spent a lot of time there - but at first, I did not have the energy to make the walk and then I had become too preoccupied.

"So? Just a lack of fresh air?" Felix asked, causing me to sigh heavily.

"If it was just that..."

"Why don't you just spit it out? I don't have the patience for this," he said.

I rolled my eyes at him, but I was not nearly as annoyed as I used to be when dealing with Felix before. "It's my cousin, Basil. He's going to the academy now."

"So?"

"So?" I repeated incredulously. "He's talking about fighting and winning the Games, it's madness!"

Felix shrugged. "I always talked about that, too. And here I am, fit as a fiddle."

I rolled my eyes at him. "You're an exception."

"Why, thank you."

"You and I both," I snapped at his cocky tone. "We're victors. But we're the exception. It's only one per year. So if Basil goes in, chances are he'll never come home."

To that, he did not seem to have a quick answer and so, as we reached the lake, we walked quietly along the shore. I tried to let the soft gulping of the water calm me, tried to enjoy the warmth of the sun on my face, but my thoughts were still circling around Basil. Who had taught him to talk of honour and the 'good way to win', anyway? I wondered if they had told me the same things at the academy, too, but I could not remember. It would have been an empty lie, anyway. There was no honour whatsoever in winning the Hunger Games.

"You know," Felix said suddenly. "The boy's still young. Kids always talk like this."

"Kids are supposed to be careless and play outside and stuff like that. They're not supposed to train for mortal combat and criticize me for stabbing my allies in the back."

"Ah," Felix said. "So that's it. You're wounded he doesn't admire you."

"Don't be stupid," I said. "We all know how I won, I just... I worry about him."

"He'll grow out of it," he told me. "Trust me, let him become a teenager and find a girl, he'll forget all about fighting to death."

I actually giggled at that suggestion. Maybe Felix was right - Basil was only nine, he might as well have grown out of this notion by the time he was old enough to volunteer. With the realization that maybe, hope was not lost yet, I regretted my harsh words to Uncle Tycho.

"I just basically told my uncle I could kick him out," I said abruptly.

Felix laughed loudly, a catchy, rumbling laugh. I looked over at him and for just a quick second, I thought that Felix was actually attractive. Not in a way that made you swoon at his sheer handsomeness, but in a comfortable, familiar way. Felix looked like home.

"I bet he was thrilled," he commented.

"He looked rather shocked," I said. "I think he sometimes forgets that I grew up."

"Grew up?" Felix mocked. "I have yet to see the grown up in you."

"Oh, you're one to talk!" I exclaimed.

Instead of a retort, Felix bend down and with a great swoosh of his arm, showered me from head to toe in water. I squealed loudly in surprise and he laughed again before running of. I followed on his heel, shouting after him.

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	10. Restless

**Thanks to everyone who read, alerted and most of all to Dancing-Souls for reviewing.  
><strong>

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><p><strong>Restless<strong>

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><p>It was icy cold when the Victory Tour stopped in our district. Obviously, District Four's delegation was not quite ready for snow. Annie was visibly shaking and even Finnick appeared to be a little uncomfortable.<br>Annie read out one of those standard eulogies for Amelia and Remus in a small, wispy voice. Once she was done, she just kept staring ahead until Mags gently pulled her off the stage.

Amelia's mother, who had cried so heartbreakingly when we had arrived back here, seemed almost as vacant. Remus' father laid a hand on her shoulder as he wiped his tears away with the other, but she did not turn to even look at him. Her body was present, I thought, but her mind was not.

Felix and I met District Four's delegation inside the Justice Building. Finnick shook hands with Felix and then hugged me.

"You look good," he said as he pulled back.

"And you," I said.

"Have you met Annie?" Finnick asked, waving Annie over to us.

The girl walked over, her eyes completely fixed on Finnick. Even as she greeted me with a small, "hello", her eyes did not stray from him. If her intense gaze made him uncomfortable, he did not show it. He probably knew how to deal with unwanted attention.

"Annie, this is Berenice," Finnick said.

"Pleasure to meet you," I said.

Finally, Annie's eyes darted to me and she smiled at me. She was rather pretty, with long brown hair and lovely green eyes. They reminded me of Finnick's, yet they did not hold the same spark.

"Pleasure's all mine," she said.

I nodded slightly and then turned back to her mentor. "Excited for the Victor's Dinner?"

Finnick grimaced. "Excited is not what I'd say. But I'm ready. You?"

"You speak my mind," I said.

Suddenly, Annie started laughing. We all turned to her while she kept giggling hysterically. The girl had wrapped her arms around herself and just laughed. Now Finnick did seem uncomfortable. I noticed a few Peacekeepers stepping closer, confusion and suspicion written on their faces. Finnick grabbed Annie by her arms, but she did not stop laughing.

"Annie," he said. "Annie, c'mon."

He had to repeat her name five more times before he finally got through to her. While we watched, her laughter slowly died down to a chuckle and then, she stopped just as suddenly as she had started. Annie looked around with wide eyes and then turned on the spot and rushed away.

"What the hell did just happen?" Felix asked.

"Oh, it's normal," Finnick said. "It's the trauma, you know? Sometimes, she just starts screaming... we're lucky she's been doing so well for the tour."

"I'm very sorry," I said.

"Don't be," Finnick said. "We all carry our cross."

Indeed we did. I was painfully reminded of my cross when I sat on the train the very next day, headed for the Capitol. For the Victor's Dinner, they invited selected victors and of course, my presence was required. Neither Felix nor Enobaria were accompanying me. I envied them for getting to stay home, but at least they were save from the Capitol's claws for now.

While I did pity myself, I did not at all feel sorry for Cashmere and Gloss, who were the first to greet me when I arrived at President Snow's Mansion.

"Darling!" Cashmere exclaimed before hugging me. "How are you?"

"Oh, excellent," I said. "This is the highlight of my year. How about you?"

"Fine," Cashmere said. "We're just fine."

There was a sudden wave of 'oohs' and 'aahs', so the three of us turned to see what the uproar was about. District Four's delegation had arrived: their escort, a small and chubby man, was busy pushing Annie forward. She looked very pretty, but I still supposed that the attention was mostly for her mentor. Finnick was strolling after them with a lazy grin, winking at Capitol women who almost fainted at the mere sight of him.

I chuckled at his display, while Gloss just rolled his eyes. "Have you seen the interview?" he asked. "The girl's a catastrophe."

"She started laughing right in the middle of her eulogy," Cashmere said, clearly put off.

I narrowed my eyes at them. Surely they, too, knew that Annie could not be blamed for her actions. "It's the trauma," I repeated what Finnick had told me. "It's not her fault."

"Oh," Gloss said. "So, you're still cozying up with Four? Something going on between you and Odair?"

I blinked in surprise, taken aback by that accusation. Thinking about it, though, I figured one could mistake our friendliness for more. Especially if you considered Finnick's reputation. Fine then, I thought, I'd give him what he wanted.

"What?" I said. "Are you jealous?"

Now, the surprise was written on his face. While he was still searching for a comeback, Cashmere openly laughed.

"You're quite something," she complimented. "Maybe we should forget the enmity."

"I'll forget the enmity when I learn that I can trust you," I told her. "Until then, I'll stick to those that I know I can trust."

I left them standing there and strolled through the crowd, towards Annie and Finnick. He was offering her bit after bit of food and I saw her shaking her head steadily.

"You've got to eat," he said when I got into earshot. "Its not healthy to starve."

"I don't care," Annie breathed.

"Please, Annie," Finnick said, clearly unnerved.

"If she doesn't want it, I'll take it," I announced, snatching the fruit from Finnick. "I love those."

Annie actually straightened up a little as I chewed. "See," she said. "Everything's fine."

"Annie-" But she stalked off towards her escort, leaving Finnick behind to shake his head. "She's just so stubborn."

"But that's a good sign, isn't it?" I asked. "Gets her confidence back."

"Yeah, until she has the next fit," he said darkly.

"Stop worrying. At least like this, Snow won't want to use her," I said.

Finnick groaned, but nodded. "You're right. Small blessings."

I smiled and reached for another berry from the bowl. "I really don't know why you trouble yourself so much over this," I added. "If that was me, Felix wouldn't give a damn. Do you always worry so much about your tributes?"

He raised an eyebrow at me and then shrugged. "They usually don't survive as long."

I popped the berry into my mouth and chewed.

"Besides, I won't base my actions on what Bradshaw would do," he said.

"Very wise," I said.

Finnick's eyes travelled and then fixed on Gloss, who was glowering at us from afar. I rolled my eyes at the sight - could he really believe that there was something going on between me and Finnick? I had thought that my jab had to be taken humorously.

"He looks even more sour than usual," Finnick commented.

I grabbed another berry. "He thinks you and I have a thing," I informed him.

Finnick chuckled. "Well, in that case." He leant forward and took the berry from me with his teeth, inches from my face. I pulled back and Finnick, chuckling again, swallowed the berry down. "Thank you, gorgeous. Those really are delicious."

"You're an idiot," I accused.

"Most handsome idiot you'll ever meet," he said, grinning widely.

"Mr Odair."

We both looked up and found a dark-haired Capitolite smiling at us. He sported the most intricate beard I had ever seen, but what really caught my interest were the shining grey eyes.

"Seneca," Finnick greeted with a very obviously forced smile. "Have you met Berenice?"

"Last year's victor, of course," the man said, reaching out to shake my hand. "I don't think we had the pleasure."

"This is Seneca Crane," Finnick explained while I took the man's hand. "One of our very talented gamemakers."

"Oh, stop the flattery," Seneca Crane said with a wink.

"Nice to meet you," I said, although I was not sure if that was the truth. Actually, I was absolutely sure that it was not.

He finally let go off my hand and I pulled it back hastily. Seneca Crane smirked at me and then turned to look at Finnick who was watching him suspiciously.

"Have I congratulated you on the victory yet?" he asked.

"No," Finnick said. "And I suggest you rather congratulate Annie. She was quite resourceful-"

"She survived through luck," the gamemaker said, not unpleasantly but poignant.

"She survived through skill," I said in a clipped voice. "'Cause she could swim better than the others."

Crane's eyes wandered over me curiously. "Chance or skill. I fear it is a matter of definition," he said.

"Most certainly," I answered.

Something about Seneca Crane unsettled me, maybe it was the way he pretended to be so clever. But I knew enough Capitolites to know that they all filled their brains with gossip and fashion. This man was no exception, the beard proved as much.

"Speaking of Annie," Finnick muttered. "She still hasn't eaten a bit. If you'll excuse me."

With that, Finnick strode off, leaving me utterly alone under Crane's scrutinizing gaze. I would have to have words with him about this.

"Would you care to dance?" Crane asked.

I did not care to dance at all, but I knew better than to refuse an offer so close to Snow's presence. "Of course," I said.

He led me to the dancefloor, where he pulled me uncomfortably close. His one hand rested on my waist, hard enough for me to feel his fingers gripping me, but not enough to hurt. Even though we started in the middle of the song, he fell into the rhythm effortlessly. I had to give that to him, the man could dance.  
>There were only two other pairs dancing yet, it was still rather early in the evening. Most Capitolites were not very fond of dancing, anyways. They spent the whole evening eating their way through the buffet.<p>

"You're very beautiful," Crane complimented. "Even more beautiful than on the screens."

"It's my experience that the screens never do one justice," I said.

Crane chuckled. He looked around over my shoulder before his eyes returned to me sharply. "President Snow told me to send you a note. I believe in face-to-face communication, though."

It was as if I had run into a brick wall. Of course. Of course this could not be an innocent little dance. Crane wanted what they all wanted. I should not have been surprised. But I was, and so I misstepped. Much to his credit, he did not complain when I stumbled, but caught me smoothly before guiding me into the next step.

"I was under the impression that the convention suited my clients well," I said icely when I regained my composure.

Crane flinched slightly at my tone, or maybe at the wording. "It's very unpersonal," he said. "And as we intend to get rather personal-"

"If you intended to drag me away from attention by asking me to dance, I fear you failed," I said, nodding towards a group of Capital women watching us intently. "You put us in the spotlight."

"Never mind them," he said. "Do you have other appointments for this night?"

"None," I said. "You're lucky."

"I want the whole night," he said.

"I don't do _all night_," I said.

"Maybe I can convince you," he said with a small smile.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "What? You think you are the one man to please the whore, better than all the others?"

He looked rather displeased with my words, but his voice did not betray the emotion. "Don't use that word," he said gently. "Maybe, one day, I can do something for you in return."

"A favour?" I asked. "What could I possibly need from you?"

Crane's smile widened. "Come now, I know you're much cleverer than that."

I narrowed my eyes at him, mainly because he was right. I had never thought of using any of my contacts for my own gain, or even better, for my tributes. A gamemaker could help my tributes in ways that I never would be able to. They needed the odds to be in their favour and the gamemakers _were_ the odds.

"You know what?" I said. "You can have the whole night."

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	11. Death and the Maiden

**All right, thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most of all to Dancing-Souls and Arin Moon for reviewing!**

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><p><strong>Death and the Maiden<strong>

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><p>If there was one thing I learned from Seneca Crane, it was to always stay overnight. I had never thought about the life any of my clients lead over the day, had never thought about family, friends, sleeping habits or breakfast preferences.<br>In the days leading up to the 71st Hunger Games, I learnt a lot of these things. I learnt that Drusus Leonard's wife slept around and he just wanted to get revenge. I learnt that Otho Lefare had the annoying habit of checking his appearance every time he passed a mirroring surface. And I learnt that Antoninus Stark, Head of the Peacekeeping Force, had a daughter who enjoyed having breakfast alone.

"I can't believe he's keeping his whore over again."

Despite the sting her harsh words caused, I looked up from my coffee and sent the girl a lazy smile. "Good morning to you, too, Agatha."

The girl was fourteen and already had bright, glittering tattoos all over her arms. She huffed and fell down on a chair across the table. "Where's Dad?"

"Was still sleeping when I got up," I informed her.

"Shouldn't you be preparing? The Games are starting today," she snarled.

My gaze wandered over to the clock on the wall behind her. "I still have two hours till launch. I'm not in a hurry," I told her. "Won't you eat?"

The girl pulled a face but reached out and took a croissant. "Who do you think will win?" she asked.

"Well, most certainly not the girl from Seven," I said with a grin. The girl from Seven was a mousy little thing - how she had even gotten her one point in training, I did not now. My tributes had told me that she could barely yield any weapon. If I could bet on the first death, it would be her.

"You can't think Two will win, though," Agatha said.

I shrugged. "Cassia and Hector are very capable," I assured her.

"No one's betting on them," she added.

"Who are they betting on, then?" I asked. Not that it really mattered what the girl thought. She was fourteen for goodness' sake.

"One," she said. "They haven't won in a while."

She was right, of course, but the thought of Cashmere and Gloss triumphing over me did not sit well with me. My Cassia was not as arrogant as Amelia had been last year and she was more than skilled. Plus, she had been absolutely lovely in her interview. Then again, I had barely seen her. The only time had been last night, when I had sat down with my tributes for dinner and, thinking of last year's disaster, I had told them to always keep their eyes up. Never again did I want my tributes to not realize they got a sponsor gift.

The door to the bedroom flew open and Antoninus Stark himself rushed out, pulling on his shirt as he went.

"Dad?" Agatha asked.

"I've got to hurry," he said and with a short look to me, added, "You can let yourself out, can't you?"

"Sure," I said.

"Emergency," he said hurriedly.

"Thirteen again?" his daughter asked. "Can't they just leave us alone?"

"Thirteen?" I asked and watched as Antoninus froze. "What are you talking about?"

Agatha sent me a smug smile. "You don't know about Thirteen - Two?"

In my astonishment, I even forgot to keep my expression in check and openly gaped at the girl. "Are you talking of _District Thirteen_? But it doesn't exist."

"'Course it does," Agatha said. "Everyone knows-"

"Agatha, enough," her father snapped irritatedly. "Go to you room."

"But-"

"Now!"

She huffed, but slowly got up and trotted towards her room. The door slammed shut behind her so forcefully that the coffee in my cup was swinging.

"I heard what I heard," I said at Stark's stern face. "Damage is done."

"You heard nothing," he growled. "I want you to leave."

I narrowed my eyes at him. As I watched him, I contemplated refusal. Talking of what I heard would get me in big trouble, but it would mean just as much trouble for him. The expression on his face hardened even more. Apparently, President Snow at least got observant people to work for him.

"How about we discuss this another time?" I suggested with a small smile. "I can't wait to see you again."

"Bloody woman," he grumbled. "But fine. Just leave."

I did and it was about time, too. I was the last of the mentors to arrive in the control room, when launch was only half an hour away.

"Morning, handsome," I greeted Finnick, who was in deep conversation with his fellow mentor, Mags.

The old woman had volunteered to take Annie's spot, because it was very obvious that the girl would not make a good mentor. I did not know whether she would ever get past her trauma, but as of now, it was best to keep her as far away from the Games as possible.

"Morning," Finnick said. "You're late."

"Well, I've been busy," I said.

He raised a curious eyebrow. "Since when are you staying overnight?"

"Since I learnt that men make great breakfast" I told him.

Finnick chuckled. "And the truth?"

"Not telling," I sang, tipping him on the nose.  
>I could feel Gloss' glare burning into my back. I did not know why it bothered the guy so much that there could possibly be something between me and Finnick, but it sure was fun to keep up the charade.<p>

Finnick rolled his eyes at me and I skipped away to join Felix who was pouting in front of his monitor. "How are we holding up?"

"Now that you finally showed up," Felix grumbled. "Fine."

He looked worn out, the rings under his eyes suggesting he had barely slept. I knew that Felix was not impressed by our tributes, even though I thought they were doing well. On the other hand, I had rarely seen them at all.

"Aren't you a joy," I said. He frowned at me and I shrugged before plopping into the seat next to him.

"If you'd been around a bit more for the last week, you might know why I'm a little tense," he said darkly.

"If I'd been around a bit more, you'd be much more tense because we wouldn't have any sponsors," I informed him.

"The best sponsors can't save a poor tribute," he said.

"Doesn't matter. I heard people are betting on One," I told him.

"Do you have any other bad news?" he asked.

"Actually, no," I chirped.

"Attention mentors," the voice announced. "Games will be launched in two minutes."

The mentors still standing slowly moved towards their seats while I sank further into my chair. Last year I had been so angry at this point, so desperate, so nervous. Today, though, I felt strangely relaxed. My mind was much more fixated on the news I had learnt this morning than on the lethal danger my tributes would be in just a minute from now. On the other hand, why would I not? My tributes would be dead soon enough. I did not believe in their success. Not this year when people where betting on One instead of on us. But if District Thirteen really still existed... that could change things.

"Games will be launched in one minute."

My monitor showed Cassia on her platform, looking around for the other tributes. Hector was three platforms right from her, two tributes from Eleven and Twelve between them. They were no threat. Finnick's tributes were on the other side of the Cornucopia, directly next to each other.  
>The countdown was running out and Felix was drumming his fingers on the arm of his seat. Three, Two, One.<p>

Then, they were running. Cassia was spurting forward but Hector was quicker than her. On the other side, Finnick's girl was getting herself into safety while his boy ran to join his allies at the Cornucopia. Very few of the other tributes were actually going for the Cornucopia - there were some things about these Games that never changed. But there was one of the tributes, who ran towards the weapons, one that had to be absolutely suicidal.

"What is she doing?" I breathed to Felix who had leant forward in his seat to watch the scene.

"She's got to be mad," he answered, nodding his head to enforce his message.

He had to be right. The girl from Seven was passing by Cassia, who shouted for Hector in warning. An unnecessary gesture, I thought, for Seven's girl was, as everyone knew, hardly a threat. Maybe she thought that quick death was better than suffering for however long it took until the others got her.  
>The girl sped past Hector, too. Her speed was rather impressive, I had to admit that. Perhaps that was how she had gotten her one point. But then, why not run into safety instead of running towards certain death?<p>

"I don't believe it," Felix murmured. His hand grabbed mine, rough fingers curling around mine.

The girl arrived at the Cornucopia. She bent down and picked up-

"Is that an axe?" I asked.

I looked around to Beem, District Seven's mentor who was watching his monitor with a self-satisfied grin that made my skin crawl.

"Felix," I said as reality harshly sank in. "Felix, she didn't get any scores-"

The girl had an axe. She had picked it up with such ease... Cassia arrived at the Cornucopia, clearly not as alarmed by the girl's display as she should be. She had to realize, though, anyone with a weapon was a potential danger. Felix squeezed my hand. I stole a glance at him and found him to be more nervous than I had ever seen him. This seemed to catch even him off guard.

As I turned back to the monitor, the girl was whirling her weapon. "No," I breathed. "No, no, no, no, no."

The axe sliced through the air, and then sliced through flesh. Cassia's head fell to the ground and landed with a dull thud.

Just about a week later, Johanna Mason from District Seven won the 71st Hunger Games. The girl that supposedly could not yield a single weapon had ruthlessly slain all her opponents with her axe. Not once did she show a sign of weakness or hesistance. While Felix stormed off the moment Hector fell, I had stayed in the mentor's room the whole time, watching with mixture of revulsion and fascination. Finnick was watching with me, equally astonished. Neither of us could believe it. And while I did feel bad about Cassia and her untimely death, I could hardly wait to meet the girl. Out of pure curiosity, of course - after the stunt she had pulled, I would never _like_ the girl. I finally understood Cashmere's dislike for me. Seeing your tribute slaughtered so ruthlessly made the hatred well up in you, even if it was unfair to the victor.

"She's got to be quite something," I told Finnick when we left the room after Johanna's victory.

"Yeah," he muttered.

"Just for future reference," I added. "We don't like her."

He scoffed amusedly. "_We_?" he repeated.

"Oh, yes. I don't like her, which means that you as my friend and fellow mentor don't like her, either," I said.

Finnick chuckled. "I see. So this is how friendship works."

"Yes," I told him with a slight smile. "You know I'd do the same for you."

He shrugged. "Beem says she's rather rude, anyway, so I guess I'm fine with it."

"I don't doubt that," I said. "The way she chopped of my tribute's head _was_ rather rude."

And in fact, the girl was more than rude. When Caesar Flickermann congratulated her on her victory, she told him that she hated the Games, she hated the Capitol and she did not want to talk to him. No doubt it was a severe fault. I could hardly imagine President Snow accepting that kind of behaviour from a victor. Yet, I admired her for her bravery. And when I watched the disgusted look on the Capitolites' faces, I wished that I was not Panem's Sweetheart but the disgrace that was District Seven's new victor.

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	12. I See You Soar

**Thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most of all to the three people who reviewed! Glad you like this story!**

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><p><strong>I See You Soar<strong>

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><p>It seemed that my life had a new structure now. Games - Victory Tour - Games - Victory Tour - there was no saying how long this circle would be repeating itself. Even if one of my tributes won, it would not change. I would still be passed around even if I was not mentoring anymore. At least I thought I would. Maybe not if my victor was prettier than me. The thought itself haunted me for a week because of how guilty it made me feel.<p>

Though at some times, the situation seemed hopeless, I refused to give up. The knowledge of District Thirteen's existence had sparked something in me, a small bit of belief that one day, it might get better.  
>I did not share my knowledge, though, figuring that it might do more harm than good. Even to me alone, knowing this seemed dangerous. If Snow ever learnt that I knew he would surely dispose of me, or, worse, my family. No one proved that to me better than Johanna Mason.<p>

She was the very picture of self-confidence and frankness. Every time that she opened her mouth, I thought it a wonder that she was still allowed to live. Actually, I was not the only one.

"People are talking," Seneca Crane told me at the Victor's Dinner. "They don't like her very much."

"Well, I'm not surprised," I said. "She's quite a handful."

The frown on his face told me that he would have picked harsher words. Knowing him, he would not have spoken them, though. Seneca was one of those people who would do anything for a good reputation, especially if 'anything' was holding back their own opinion.

"I don't think you realize how serious this is," he said. "People might lose their positions for this."

I raised a sophisticated eyebrow at him. "Who are you referring to?"

He looked around before taking a step closer to me. "Bacchus Edge."

"The Head Gamemaker?" I asked, surprised by my surprise. If anyone had to go because of a Hunger Games disaster, of course it would be the Head Gamemaker.

Seneca's smirk indicated that he had hoped for that reaction. "Indeed."

"And who will replace him?" I asked.

Seneca did not answer me. He stepped back and looked around again, the look on his face as he did so was answer enough.

"You?" I breathed.

"Quiet," he hissed. "No one's supposed to know yet!"

I grinned at him, possible scenarios unfolding before my inner eye. Did he not already owe me a favour? The options seemed unlimited.

"We should celebrate that," I said. "Let me get us a drink."

Seneca sent me off with a small smile and a nod and I made my way through the chattering crowd. Several times, I got dragged to the side and offered something to eat. I tried to be polite about it, but always had to drop Crane's name before they allowed me to leave.

I finally made it to the other side of the room and ordered two glasses of champagne from a tall, broad Avox. Sometimes I wondered if the Capitolites were not afraid that this practice would backfire on them eventually. He disappeared into a room behind him while I checked the room for the quickest way back through the room.

My searching was interrupted by a muffled voice nearby. I frowned at the sniffling sound and looked around to see where it was coming from. There were only laughing faces around me, but the sound of crying was unmistakable. I perked up my ears and gingerly moved a step into the direction that I supposed the sound was coming from. And another. And another. The sound got louder.  
>I looked around to make sure no one was following me and slipped out of the same door the Avox had used. It was a storage room, full of crates and boxes. It took a moment before my eyes adjusted fully to the dim light, but then I saw her.<p>

Johanna Mason was curled up on the floor, leaning against one of the shelves. Tears were running down her face, her eyes were already red and swollen.

"Oh, honey," I breathed. "What's up?"

She flinched violently as she noticed me. Angrily, she wiped the tears away and got off the floor. "I'm fine," she said in a throaty voice.

"I can see that," I said. "Won't you tell me what's going on?"

"You wouldn't understand," she said, glaring at me. The girl was still fighting against the tears.

"Try me," I suggested.

She hesitated, shifting uncomfortably in her stance before she relented. "It's my family."

I frowned. "What about them?"

"They're dead," she said flatly.

My eyes widened at her while she kept staring at her feet. "I'm sorry," I said.

"It's my fault," she said.

"Don't say that," I responded at once. "I'm sure you-"

"I told him no, you see," she said, looking up sharply. Her eyes, still swimming with tears were suddenly filled with anger and hatred. "Snow."

I blinked a few times before I suddenly understood. She had told him no. He had offered her the same deal he had offered me, but Johanna had not believed that he would really go through with harming any of her loved ones. She had refused and now her family was dead.

"I am so sorry," I said.

"I don't need your pity," she bit out.

"You don't get pity," I said. "But I am angry about what they did to you. And I wish I could do anything to make that better. So that's what you'll get from me if you'll have it."

She eyed me curiously and finally gave a sharp nod. "You're Berenice, right?"

"That's me," I said.

Johanna nodded again. Then, she wiped the remaining tears away and squared her shoulders. Without another word, she strut out of the door and I followed with a small, sad smile.

Johanna returned briskly to her escort and mentor. My gaze followed her until she passed Finnick. I had the sudden urge to tell him about the encounter. I was already starting in his direction, when the Avox tipped me on the shoulder. He had my ordered glasses of champagne and pressed them into my hands before bustling off again.  
>I sighed heavily, staring at the sparkling liquid. I had forgotten all about Seneca Crane waiting for me at the other side of the room. I took a large sip of the champagne and began my way back through the crowd.<br>Now that I carried the glasses, people let me pass in peace. In fact, most shied away a little, probably afraid that I might accidently spill the contents on their precious gowns.  
>I reached Seneca, who had been joined by two elder men: one fat, with very little hair and one incredibly thin, who in turn had the largest moustache I had ever seen.<p>

"Seneca," I said, handing him the full glass. "Sorry for the delay, this party is crazy."

All three men let out a polite laugh and I took another sip. I did not feel like I could properly laugh politely right now.

"These are Appius and Hadrian, two of my colleagues. Fellow gamemakers," Seneca introduced.

"Pleased to meet you," I said, smiling. My eyes wandered over the room toward Finnick again. I really wanted to talk to him and my mind was spinning with possible excuses, none of them executable.

"The pleasure's all mine," the moustache-man said. "I was just saying to Seneca how much you remind me of Eunice."

My heart suddenly dropped, all thoughts of Johanna or Finnick flew out of my mind as the moustache-man caught my attention like one catches a fly with honey.

"You knew my mother?" I asked.

"Oh, yes," he said. "She was quite a beauty. Very much like you."

"Enough, Appius," Seneca scolded gently. "I got the drink from the lady."

"Sure," the moustache-man said with a sick grin. "I didn't mean to interrupt."

I took a deep breath to swallow down the sudden disgust welling up in me. "How very friendly of you," I said.

He bowed lightly, then clapped Seneca on the shoulder and stalked away, followed by his colleague. Seneca turned his gaze back to me, obviously sensing my displeasure, but drawing the wrong conclusion.

"Sorry about that," Seneca said. "Appius is a little peculiar."

I took another shuddering breath. "Don't worry about it, dear," I said, reaching out to take his hand. "Let's enjoy this party."

Seneca smiled broadly and clinked his glass with mine.

I did not get around to talking to Finnick for the remainder of the party, for Seneca did not let me out of his eyes again. I did not mind Seneca Crane all that much and so I did my best not to let him know that my mind was elsewhere.

When I left the next morning, I directly took the elevator up to Level Four. Finnick, I knew, never spent the night out and so I was confident to find him there. I was right, too, but Finnick was still asleep, spread out on the couch as if he had come in and just fallen down.  
>I walked towards him, hoping that he would wake from my footsteps, but he did not. Sighing heavily, I reached out and touched his shoulder. Finnick woke immediately and I had to jump back to escape his flailing arms. He took me in, breathing heavily.<p>

"Nissa," he said. "Don't do that."

"Sorry," I said. "Didn't mean to scare you."

He brushed a hand through his messy hair. Sometimes I understood perfectly well why girls all over the country were swooning over him. "Why are you here, then?" he asked groggily.

I sat down at the edge of the couch with an exhausted smile. "It's Johanna," I told him.

"District Seven Johanna?" Finnick asked. "Victor Johanna?"

"Yes," I said. "That Johanna."

Finnick groaned and leant his head back against the couch. "I thought we don't like her," he said.

I rolled my eyes at him. "That was before Snow murdered her whole family."

He turned his head slowly towards me, still resting against the couch. "What?"

I got up again and started pacing up and down in front of the sofa. "He offered her our deal and she refused. So he killed them all."

Finnick sat up straight, all signs of tiredness gone from his face. He watched me as I continued pacing in front of him, trying to sort out my troubled thoughts. "All of them?"

"All of them," I repeated.

Finnick buried his head in his hands, groaning again. I stopped right in front of him, swallowing down the lump in my throat.

"He's really going to do it," I said in a small voice. "I guess I didn't fully believe it, but.. He's going to do it."

He got up as well, again raking a hand through his hair. When he met my eyes again, they seemed to be alight with anger. "I hate him," he ground out. "I hate them all! One day, I'll grab my trident and I spear them, one by one-"

"Stop!" I interrupted him, horrified by his words. "You can't say things like that. Just imagine if they find out-"

He took several deep, shuddering breaths, eyes still blazing.

"You can't talk like that," I said. "Please. I know it's not right. All of this isn't right. But we can't talk like that, just imagine... my family. Your family. Mags, Annie-"

"All right, all right," Finnick said. "I get the picture."

He fell back onto the couch and I followed suit, sinking into the soft cushions. Finnick stared blankly ahead, his posture clearly strained with the anger still filling him.

"I'm afraid, you know," I said quietly.

He did not answer and instead reached out and pulled me into his side. I snuggled into him as we remained silent, trying to find comfort in the warmth of our embrace.

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	13. Fruit of the Poisoned Tree

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><p><strong>Fruit of the Poisoned Tree<strong>

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><p>The next day, I supervised the two Avoxes packing up my belongings. They were very precise about it. Even Aunt Olivia could not have folded my dresses any better and she was a master of the art.<p>

I was just pondering about the discrimination of having only girls packing up, when I heard the shrill sound of the bell announcing the elevator. Frowning, I went to see who had arrived and froze dead in my steps as I reached the living room.

Eyes shining curiously under his exaggerated eyebrows, President Snow was waiting for me, his hands clasped together behind his back.

"President Snow," I said.

"There she is," he said, only now making me aware of the other people in the room. One of them was Gaius Letier, whom I knew to be a snorer. The other two looked just as official and vaguely familiar.

"I didn't expect visitors," I said, keeping an eye on Snow's companion's, who were strolling through the room, touching chairs and shelves and decorations.

"Of course not," Snow retorted with a small smile. "Maybe we could talk in private."

I raised an eyebrow but nodded in compliance. "My room's right back there, I can send the Avoxes away," I offered. "They're packing, but I'm in no hurry."

"There's no need," he said. With a distinct cough, Snow caught the attention of his companions. "Why don't you go and see if you can help with the packing?"

It was absolutely outrageous to have politicians do servant's work, even if it was only as a pretense, but they went with no protest. I watched them take their leave before I turned back to President Snow.

"There you go. We're in private," I said. "What did you want to say to me?"

Snow sat down on a chair by the kitchen table and crossed his legs before answering. "I learnt that you made friends with Miss Mason."

For a moment, the breath caught in my throat. My voice was throaty when I responded. "I met her," I said. "I wouldn't say we are friends. Actually, I decided not to like her a while ago. I'm always open for a change of mind, though."

"I might advise you against it," he told me. "As you might be aware, Miss Mason is not in our favour."

I narrowed my eyes a him. "I am aware. I'm more than aware. I think you've provided sufficient warning, thank you very much."

Snow was unfazed by my obvious anger, a sick smile playing around his lips. "I don't know about that. Miss Mason was uncooperative and I saw to it that she learnt."

"But now you've lost," I said, causing his smile to suddenly drop. "You've got nothing. Nothing to threaten her with."

He leant forward, his furrowed brows surely meant to intimidate me. "I don't need to threaten her anymore, Miss Smitt. I was just making sure _you_ still know your place."

"Thank you," I said sharply. "I know exactly where I stand."

He smiled anew, broadly, and leant back again in an obvious posture of relaxation. There sat a man who knew that no one could ever harm him. "I merely wanted to remind you," he said. "It would be such a pity, if we did not come to an understanding, anymore. How is your family faring? Your little cousin? She's got fire."

I took a deep, shuddering breath. "Would you stoop so low?" I asked. "She's just started school."

"As I understand, Miss Mason also lost a brother," he said, in a grave voice as if he pitied her loss. "Just a month old. A tragedy, really."

Tears welled in my eyes before I could stop the reaction. "It's true what they say, then," I said in a hushed voice. "You really are a monster."

Snow smiled at me, obviously amused at that notion. "Monsters are for nightmares, Miss Smitt. I am the real thing."

If Snow thought that he could frighten me so easily, he was wrong. He might be able to enforce my temporary submission, but I had long since sworn to myself that I would not live all of my life like this. Not if there was a chance, however vague it might have been, of a better place. Not when District Thirteen was out there and running. It bared the question of course, why they never showed themselves to the other districts if they caused the Capitol so much trouble. But if they would not find me, I would go find them when the time was there. When I knew how to keep my family safe.

I returned to District Two in the evening and after a short visit to Enobaria, I finally made it home. Basil and Ligeia were already tucked away in bed, but Uncle Tycho and Aunt Olivia were wide awake, waiting for me in the sitting room. Uncle Tycho seemed calm, but his wife could not hide her relief as she saw me. I suddenly felt guilty for making them wait so long.

Aunt Olivia rushed to greet me and pulled me into her arms. I let my bag fall to the ground to return her embrace. She held me a bit away from her to study me. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Just fine," I assured her. "And you?"

"Fine," she said. "Ligeia's caught a cold, but-"

Fear clenched around my heart and I had to force myself not to rush up the stairs and check on her. At least Snow had succeeded in that - placing the doubt in me. Would he strike? How and when? Would I see it coming or would I return home one evening to find them all slaughtered?

"I can send for some medicine from the Capitol," I suggested. "You know how these things can take root-"

"Oh, don't worry yourself," Olivia said with a smile. "Just a bit of coughing. She'll be fine."

For now, I let myself be assured by her motherly confidence. I nodded at her, and bent down to pick up my bag again. I turned to my Uncle, who was watching me warily.

"Uncle, would you mind helping me with my bags?"

Never did he ask about the fact that I did not have any other bags. He followed me upstairs and closed the door to my bedroom behind him as I sat down the bags atop my bed.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You need to watch over Ligeia. She's target number one," I said tiredly.

He nodded solemnly, as if I had not just told him that his seven year old daughter was on top of a death list. "I see."

"Snow said... doesn't matter what he said, but I can't promise you that he won't try, I mean," I interrupted my stuttering and looked him dead in the eye. "This is dangerous. You need to help me protect her."

Uncle Tycho nodded again. "I understand."

"You can't," I said. "You don't witness what I witness. You can't understand." I turned around to face him, watching his calm posture. It angered me suddenly that he could be like that, so composed, when his family was at risk. "Don't you get it?" I asked. "One wrong word from me and Ligeia is as good as dead-"

"Then I trust you not to say that wrong word," my uncle said.

I shook my head and ran a hand through my hair in frustration. "Did you have the same faith in my mother? She certainly didn't live up to it."

At that, my uncle's eyes narrowed and he almost seemed angered. I had never - could have never - witnessed how he felt about my mother. She had been dead before I had the chance to remember her or anything about her relationships.

"I'm wondering, you see?" I continued. "Because people keep telling me how much I remind them of my mother. And I'm not at all sure that I should be pleased."

Uncle Tycho sat down heavily on my bed, staring at the woolen carpet that covered the floor. "You should be," he said. "She was... astonishing."

"Yeah. There are a few Capitolites that certainly agree," I said bitterly.

He blanched and his eyes rose to meet mine. "Nissa, I know how-"

"I want to know why she died," I said.

He shook his head, as he always had when I had asked about her death, but this time I would not let it slide. It was time I learnt the truth about her. I deserved the truth.

"Tell me," I demanded.

"She felt she couldn't take it," he said slowly. "And she did feel so for very long. She had you but she never told me who the father was. Only after her death I realized that she might not have known."

I swallowed hard, but that was not enough to turn me off. I knew exactly what life in the Capitol was like for a victor. He did not need my encouraging nod to continue.

"The day she... the day she ended it, she brought you to me. Our parents were out, at work perhaps, I can't remember. And she handed you to me and said she had places to be." He took a deep breath and I thought to see tears swimming in his eyes. "I asked her when she would be back and she said she didn't know. I didn't get it, you know? You were just a few weeks old, what mother would leave her child alone at a time like this?"

He fell silent, his eyes drifting around the room, but never landing on me. The fact that she never came back did not have to be spoken to hang in the room like poisonous fog. But all of that still did not answer my question.

"Why did it get too much?" I asked. "Because she was pregnant? Was a child so much of a burden-?"

"Nissa," my uncle said. "Just think if you got pregnant but you don't even know who the father is, not that you would get any support-"

"No," I said, shaking my head. It scared me how easily I could imagine that exact scenario. "No, that's not good enough."

"Listen-"

"If I had a child," I said forcefully. "I wouldn't abandon it. Don't get me wrong - I love you and I appreciate what you did for me. But it's not the same. And I would have liked to have a mother."

Only now did he look at me. All barriers had fallen and the sadness that spoke out of him was so deep, it almost pulled me into the abyss with him. "Eunice loved you very much."

"Yet it wasn't enough," I spat. "And I don't understand why! I don't see what could have possibly happened for her to abandon me like that."

I finally realized that Uncle Tycho did not have any answers, himself. He never spoke of details and that was not because he did not want me to know, but because he himself did not know. Pity washed over me. He must have suffered from that state of uncertainty. Why had she left me? Why had she left him, the whole family?

"I promise you," I said. "That I will find out."

"Nissa, just think... maybe she just wasn't as strong as you," he said in a low voice.

"Do you think that's true?" I asked. "Do you really think that's true?"

He shook his head very slowly, but I had known that answer all along. The way he talked about my mother, there was no way she was ever weaker than me.

"There's got to be someone who knows," I assured him.

Uncle Tycho's protests were not fit to sway me in my decision. Once I returned to the Capitol, I would investigate. There had to be someone who knew about my mother's death.

I would start with the Moustache-Man.

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	14. With A Little Help From My Friends

**So, thanks to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most of all to Dancing-Souls for reviewing! I hope y'all enjoy the new chapter.**

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><p><strong>With a Little Help from My Friends<strong>

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><p>The sun was warming the earth, the water and the air. It also warmed my face, which was turned up as I lay on the grass by the lake. I had my eyes closed, but my ears registered every sound around me. The chirping of the birds as well as the lapping of water on the stony shore. They also registered the footsteps coming closer.<br>Involuntarily, I tensed, analyzing these footsteps. Whoever it was wasn't trying to be quiet, so they did not want to take me by surprise. I cracked one eye open as a shadow fell atop me.

"Felix," I said. "You're blocking my sun."

"Good," he said. "You're too delicate to get a sunburn."

"Sod off," I said.

Nonetheless, he sat down next to me and I raised up on my elbows. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"The Games," he said.

I groaned and fell back down on the grass. "We still have two months, could you please just leave it alone."

"No," he said. "Last year, we were taken by surprise."

I nodded solemnly, thinking back to the way that Johanna had killed our tributes. It had been unfortunate, granted, but no one could have foreseen it. Besides, things like that did not happen more than once.

"I'm tired of it," Felix added. "I want to be sure we win."

"We can never be sure of that," I said, frowning up at him.

He looked at me thoughtfully, then over the lake, and then back at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Look, you may not want to hear it, but-"

"Okay, okay, stop right there." I sat up fully, glaring at him. I had understood already where this was going. He was going to suggest that I sleep with even more sponsors to help our tributes. The anger boiled inside me. What did he think I was? Some kind of mattress he could rent out for his benefit?

"Listen, Nissa," he said, attempting to calm me down. "I know you're in a bit of an unfortunate situation-"

"So why not make it worse?" I snapped. "You're right, that sounds logical."

"Would you please let me finish?" he said forcefully, glaring right back at me.

I rolled my eyes at him, but gestured for him to continue, though I was sure that he had nothing useful to say.

"I know you're in close relations to Crane," he said. "And Crane is going to become Head Gamemaker, isn't that right?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "How do _you_ know?"

Felix smirked at me, obviously pleased with himself. "You're not the only one with friends at the Capitol."

I groaned and shook my head at him. I did not have friends at the Capitol. The only thing I had at the Capitol were clients. The difference was immense. Immense enough for even Felix to understand.

"I understand that you don't like this," he continued and he sounded surprisingly honest. "Quite frankly, I don't like it, either."

"What do you care?" I asked, studying him.

He sighed heavily and then shrugged.

"I don't need your pity," I said.

"I don't pity you," he said. "Pity is for the weak. But I acknowledge your pain."

We sat silently together, staring at the glittering surface of the water. The sun was beginning to set, slowly but steadily and I shivered a little as the air got cooler around me. Maybe what Felix suggested did make sense. Why not improve my relations to Seneca Crane a little - I had already considered it, had I not? Why not at least profit from the situation I had been put in? Surely, Seneca would be willing to help me. Or rather my tributes. As Head Gamemaker, he was master of the odds. No one could blame me for trying.

"I guess I can try," I told Felix. "I'd love for my tribute to win."

"Yeah," Felix said as he met my eyes. "I'd love that, too."

I watched as he carefully reached out his hand as if to touch me. My eyes flickered briefly from his fingers to his face, searching his expression for an explanation. He was so close, the idea of his touch made my skin tingle. I imagined the feeling of his rough fingertips on me, how they would stroke over my cheek...

Felix suddenly pulled his hand back as if he had been burnt and jumped to his feet. "Good," he said. "I'll see you."

Luckily, I did not have much time to worry about Felix and his behaviour. Due to the upcoming games, I spent all my time with my family, trying to suck up as many happy memories as I could. I even brought out the violin again. Back in the day, I had thought that I would never be able to master the instrument, but practice obviously helped. Ligeia made her first attempts at it, too. She was definitely more talented then I was.  
>Basil spent most of the time pouting, though. I refused to give him the lessons on throwing knives he had begged me for. No matter how much he insisted, I would never let him be in the Games.<p>

And so I warned my uncle before I left for the Reaping. "I don't want to come home and find Ligeia in the academy," I said. "Don't even think-"

"I promise you that I won't send her there," Uncle Tycho said.

I hoped that I could trust him on this.  
>I was fully prepared to do what Felix had asked of me and charm Seneca Crane a bit for our benefit, and considering our tributes, we might just have a chance. The girl was not very tall, but by her own account quick and good with a bow and arrow. She had shaken Felix' hand with a confident smirk.<p>

"Spes Garcia," she introduced. "I'll be mentoring with you next year."

The boy, Balbus White, placed a big hand on her shoulder. "We'll see about that," he joked, but not even his light tone could keep the illusion of friendship up.

Felix growled and grumbled just as much as any year, the same way he had back when I was a tribute. Only now I understood his poor mood and his refusal to grow attached to the tributes. Even if we succeeded, we would never be able to save more than one. If we even did so much.  
>As per usual, our rivals did not rest. Finnick's tributes looked good, all though they possessed the rather rural force that was so typical for his distract. They gained their strength from working on their fisher boats and not from skilled training. District One's tributes portrayed their usual arrogance and strength. The self-satisfied smirk Gloss wore did nothing to ease my worry. People had bet on One last year already. They were more than due for a win.<p>

"What do you think?" I asked Felix.

"Just make sure Seven doesn't give us any trouble," he said.

"Seven?" I said. "Hardly."

Johanna was very capable, no doubt - she had proven so impressively last year. But she knew nothing about mentoring. Seven rarely won, anyway, and she had not gained friends in the Capitol. Seven would not be any real rival to us.

Still, I followed Felix' advice, if only to do Johanna a favour. I found her after the chariot rides, where she was talking to her tributes. Both were very young, thirteen and fourteen, and they looked even smaller when I compared them to the Careers.

"Johanna," I greeted.

"Berenice," she answered and shifted in front of her tributes. "What can I do for you?"

"We're discussing alliances tonight. At The Quay - nice little bar by the river. Lots of sponsors present, too. It would be good if you could come," I said.

As I spoke, her eyebrows rose higher ad higher. "You want me to join the Careers in discussing alliances?"

"I want you to join me. All of us need people to trust and I trust you. Am I wrong for doing it?" I asked.

She eyed me up and down and finally jerked her head sharply in agreement. "See you tonight."

After dinner with Marcia and my tributes, Felix and I set off for our meeting with the other victors. He did not seem all too pleased that I had actually invited Johanna, but after my reminder that he had set me this task, Felix did not protest further.

Cashmere and Gloss were already there, waiting for us, as was a victor with astonishing green eyes.

"Finnick!" I called and rushed to hug him.

He laughed and held me back to look at me. "Beautiful as ever," he complimented.

I smirked. "Same goes for you." I sat down next to him and asked, "Who's mentoring with you this year?"

"Mags," Finnick said. "Annie couldn't... she couldn't cope. We don't want to stress her."

He cast his eyes downward and they fixed on the shimmering liquid in his glass. I sighed in pity. We all suffered, all had our cross to bear, but Annie was even worse off. And no one knew how to help her. I imagined how I would feel if Felix was in the same position as Annie... my eyes wandered over to where he sat next to Gloss, his arms crossed and glaring as per usual. No, Felix would never be in the same position. He was a fighter, a man of the weapon. And if he still had nightmares, well, he would deal with them on his own. Felix was strong.

"What's she doing here?" Cashmere's disgusted voice pulled me from my thoughts.

Johanna had arrived. She had spotted us, but moved through the crowd with deliberate slowness.

"I invited her," I said. "One can never have too many allies. Ones you can trust. Don't you think, Cashmere?"

She sneered at me, but wiped the ugly expression of her face when Johanna sat down on the other side of Finnick.

"Hey," I greeted. "You found it."

"Yes," she said. "Thanks for inviting me."

"Our pleasure," Cashmere assured her. "We're all in this together, aren't we?"

Johanna grinned at her, but even her smile held something rude. "Don't give me that 'bygones-are-bygones'-crap. Odair already tried that."

My eyes flickered to Finnick who shrugged with a slight smile. Felix and Gloss began to discuss the other tributes, analyzing who could be a threat and who could be eliminated easily. Meanwhile, I wondered if we could ditch One all together this year. Two-Four-Seven, maybe, eliminate One, then Seven and I was sure one of my tributes could take Finnick's down...

Johanna listened to the discussion with a stoic expression. I noticed though, that her hand clenched around the arm of her chair so tightly that her knuckles turned white. In all her brazenness, she probably never realized how mentors really operated.

"I don't think I'm right here," she whispered to me.

"You can always go," I offered. "But-"

In that moment, a well polished hand landed on Johanna's shoulder. All our eyes shot up and I recognized Antoninus Stark, who had told me about District Thirteen. He leant down and whispered into Johanna's ear, who seemed ready to slap him when he finished. Stark did not seem to notice the look on her face and regarded her with a self-satisfied smirk.

"Anton," I said. "She's not available."

His eyes flickered from her to me. "Oh? Who're you going to tonight?"

Johanna opened her mouth, but I interrupted her quickly. "Now, now, you know we need to be discreet."

He considered this and finally nodded. "What about you, then?"

His words were like a hit in the stomach and they stole my breath for a moment. Bad enough to be sold out to whoever could afford it - could I not at least be their first choice? I forced myself to smile at him.

"Of course. Give me a minute."

"I'm sitting over there," he said, pointing to a booth on the far end of the bar where he was sitting with a few of his colleagues. "Join me whenever you're ready."

He stalked off and I turned back to my fellow victors. None of them dared to look directly at me. I thought them ridiculous. Most of them knew exactly how this worked, Finnick and Cashmere especially.

"Thank you," Johanna said in a small voice.

I shrugged. "Just remember who you can trust." I got up and smoothed down my dress. "If you'd all excuse me. I have an appointment."

I did not look back when I walked over to join Antoninus Stark for the night.

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	15. Another Brick In The Wall

**Guys, thank you to everyone who read, fav'd, alerted and most, most of all to the six amazing people who reviewed - going from one review/chapter to six is quite amazing and I'm very happy about and I'd gladly keep it that way, so please do review again ;)  
>Hope y'all enjoy the new chapter.<strong>

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><p><strong>Another Brick in the Wall<strong>

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><p>Wide up above the roofs of the Capitol, I gained a sense of serenity. It was calm up here, almost silent. There was, of course, the faint sound of vehicles, of footsteps, of chatter - but mostly, there was just the wind whistling in my ears. It was around midday, and it was hot up here as the sun burnt down on me. But that, too, felt good. It felt like it burned all the shame and misery out of me.<p>

"I thought you were hiding up here again."

I turned my head and found Finnick leaning against the wall. He had sneaked onto the roof and I had not heard it. The thought sent shivers down my spine. It took me a few painful moments to recall that Finnick was a friend and would not harm me.

"Oh, and I brought her."

That of course, was a different matter. Finnick gestured to Johanna, who stepped into my line of sight as well.

"He dragged me up here," she said.

I rolled my eyes at the two. "Why don't you join me?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Finnick joked and strolled over to sit down on the floor next to me. Johanna followed more cautiously, but sat down on my other side. I hoped that they would at least let me have the silence, if they had destroyed my seclusion already. Obviously, I had no such luck.

"I don't trust One," Johanna noted. "Why are we allying with them?"

"That's how it's done," I answered. "The Careers stick together."

"Seven are not Careers," Johanna said and sounded oddly proud.

I shrugged and wrapped my arms around my legs. Finnick gave me a calculating look, until I finally relented. "We can't ditch them beforehand. They'll know, they'll form another alliance to kill all our tributes as soon as they can. But if we don't tell them..."

Johanna narrowed her eyes at me. "You wanna screw them over?"

I groaned, expecting some kind of jab at my own Games. Fair enough, I had betrayed my allies. It had worked out well, though, and it was my principle to never change a winning team.

"I'm all for it," Johanna said.

I looked up and met her eyes which sparkled with amusement. "Good," I said. "And I swear to you that I'm not doing the same thing with your tributes."

"Don't be ridiculous," Johanna said. "My tributes are cannon fodder, everyone can see that. But I'd still rather see one of you win than Cashmere and Gloss."

I nodded my head in thanks while Finnick threw his arm around me. "Have I ever told you," he said. "That you have an excellent taste in friends?"

Maybe I had. At least I had always been able to trust Finnick. If the same could be said about Johanna remained to be seen.

In the end, a victory came down to different things, though. It all depended on the _odds_. As I had promised, I wanted to try my best and influence them. But Seneca Crane, master of the odds, had not called for me since I arrived at the Capitol. It was unusual to say the least and I worried that my plan might not work out as well as I had imagined. If Crane had tired of me, we would have to make a new plan. Time was running, though.

So when my tributes left to get their scores, I rushed down to the training facilities in the hope of catching Crane on his way to the training sessions. He arrived with a group of gamemakers, all too lost in their conversation to notice me. It astounded me again and again how people could be so mindless in their surroundings.

"Mr Crane?"

He started and the group stopped, surprised eyes turning to me. He frowned at me, which shifted his intricate beard a bit to make it look even stranger.

"Berenice."

"I was hoping for a private word," I said.

The two other men in the group started laughing. One clapped Crane on the shoulder and then Crane's pals took off, though their chatter could be heard long after they were out of sight. Much to his credit, the Head Gamemaker looked slightly embarrassed.

"I don't think I've congratulated you yet," I said cautiously. "To your appointment."

I had thought long about how to approach him for maximum effect. I did not want to tell him directly that I needed his help, so I needed another reason to go to him of my own free will.

"You never called for me," I said in small voice.

His eyes widened slightly. "I'm Head Gamemaker now," he said. "I never imagined... all the work."

I turned my hopeful gaze up to him. "So you didn't... didn't want me to leave you alone?"

"Oh," Crane uttered before he quickly gathered me in his arms. "Of course not." His fingers combed through my hair, gently brushing it out. I buried my head on his chest and made my shoulders shake with faked sobs.

He shushed me gently and rested his chin on the top of my head. "Will you join me tonight?"

I was lucky he did not see my face, which surely showed my reluctance - this was what I had worked for, but that did not mean that I wanted to join him. Anytime.

"Of course," I whispered into his chest. "Gladly."

He pushed me back gently to look at me. Fortunately for me, he never noticed the lack of tears. His smile was so genuine, though, that I suddenly felt guilty. Maybe I was wrong when I thought of Seneca Crana as a heartless gamemaker only. Maybe there was a man in there, too.

"Good," he said. "I'm looking forward to it."

I nodded quickly, eagerly and smiled. He matched my smile and then kissed me on the cheek. Seneca Crane almost skipped down the corridor when he went to join the other gamemakers for the training session.

Two days later, the tributes Crane had been going to assess were running towards the Conurcopia. One's tributes were faster than Spes or Balbus but I forced myself not to panic. There was no way we would have the same disaster that we had last year. In fact, we did not. But my plan did not work as well as I had thought.  
>Cashmere and Gloss had seen it coming, or maybe they just were the same type and liked to betray their allies. One had formed an alliance with Ten and Eleven. Four tall, strong tributes - an obvious threat to us, even if they were not very skilled in combat.<p>

Felix turned to Gloss as soon as he realized what was happening. "If you think that'll make you win, you're wrong."

One's mentor just smiled lazily. "We'll see about that, Bradshaw."

Johanna's girl died on day four. She had been the youngest, smallest and weakest of the group, so, when the opposing alliance attacked, she was easy prey. Johanna never once seemed moved by the loss, sitting in front of her monitor silently as it went black.

"Go to sleep," I advised her when she refused to leave the Mentor's Room that night. "Beem will manage on his own."

She glared at me. "Why don't you go?" she snapped. "See if Felix can manage it."

I actually followed her advise, but not to go to sleep. Instead, I visited Seneca Crane that night. I had promised my tributes that I would do anything I could to help them win.

"Do you promise?" Spes had asked me in a timid voice.

"Of course," I had said. "That's my job, isn't it?"

She had smiled a little at that and Balbus, who had been scared out of his mind by the time the last night rolled around, had asked, "A-a-any last ad-advice?"

I had nodded, then. "Sure. If you're in trouble just remember: eyes up. Felix and I will help you."

Trouble was, though, that Seneca Crane might be master of the odds, but even he could not beat fate. Seven's second tribute died two days after the girl, because he fell as the group climbed up a ghastly, slippery mountain. None of us could bare the sight of his battered body being lifted up by the hovercraft.  
>Balbus died on day eleven, the hypothermia finally stealing his life, never mind that we had sent him medicine that I was sure was too expensive even for our sponsors. When the Deployment Center voiced their doubt, I had told them to ask the Head Gamemaker. Minutes later, the medicine had been delivered. Even that had not been enough to save Balbus.<p>

Felix hit his monitor in frustration as it went black. "I really thought we'd do it this year," he said quietly.

"I know," I said. "I know."

But he did not leave as he had these past years. Instead, he offered to watch over Spes in shifts, an offer I was more than willing to take. For a while, it almost looked good. One's alliance had quickly crumbled and they were left with only one ally, the boy from Ten. Spes took him out on day fifteen with an impeccably placed arrow to the chest.

By day twenty-two, there were only three people left. Spes, and One's two tributes. I wondered if it ever got boring for Cashmere and Gloss to wear those triumphant smiles.  
>Spes tried to play it safe. She crept around their camp, hoping to catch them off guard. Unfortunately, it was her that got caught. Both she and I screamed when stepped upon a twig that snapped loudly - she was suddenly hauled up, trapped in some kind of net. She struggled wildly against her cage, but she had no chance of escape. One's tributes were with her before I could even understand what had happened.<p>

One's girl laughed, a mad, desperate laugh. "We got you."

I did not stay to watch how they finished her off. I did not stay to watch the fight that ensued between the district partners. I did not stay attend the girl's victory. The moment the end became clear, I got up and left. Eyes up, I had told her. I had never thought she might have to keep her gaze cast downward.  
>I did not attend the interview either, when three days later Silk was crowned victor. Cashmere had caught me by the arm in the training center the day before.<p>

"Now that I'm being replaced," she had said. "Maybe One and Two can reconcile."

"Maybe," I had said. "Maybe not."

I watched the interview with the Moustache-Man. His request for my presence had been unexpected but convenient. I had not wanted to go to the event in the first place and was glad that sitting on his couch, I could let myself wander. At least I did until he suddenly said, "I like the colour of her dress. Your mother wore a similar one."

My head snapped to him. Over the drama of the games, I had forgotten all about my mother and her fate. "She did?" I asked softly.

"Yes. Quite a beauty, she was. Much like you," he added.

I shrugged the compliment off. "Did you know her well?"

His brows furrowed and he studied me curiously. I quickly tried to smooth things over. "It's just... I never knew her, so... I thought if you... doesn't matter, I'm just being silly."

I saw at once that I had said the right thing. His gaze went soft with amusement and patronizing affection. "Of course," he said. "I understand."

He turned his attention back to the TV for a while, then and I sagged into the couch, trying to conceal my frustration. Was it really too much to ask that he reminisced a bit about my mother? I was giving him much more than a short story of my past, after all.

"Met her a few times," he said suddenly. "She had a rebellious streak. Some say she knew things she shouldn't have. But I personally think that was just a stupid rumour. She was a lovely girl."

"Things she shouldn't have?" I repeated. "Like what?"

"Those are just rumours," he assured me. "Nothing to worry your pretty little head about."

I was disgusted by his tone, but still smiled sweetly at him. "I see. Thank you, Appius."

He leant in for the kiss then.


End file.
